So, yesterday, the new Hadron Super Collider broke the worlds record for proton acceleration.
Part of the point of this experiment is to attempt to find the smallest units of matter that form the building blocks of the universe.
Well, I say it's a waste of money. The smallest units are already well known.
Below the fold is presented a list of these units.
Update: It was pointed out that the names were incorrectly listed as having the suffix "-ium" as opposed to "-on". In the interest of true scientific integrity, the list has been fixed.
Georgebushon: The smallest unit of truth possible.
Palinon: The smallest unit of reality possible.
Cheneyon: The smallest unit of conscience possible.
Huckabon: The smallest unit of judgment possible.
Beckon: The smallest amount of credibility possible.
Giulianon: The shortest unit of time possible, as measured by the frequency of the use of the phrase "9/11". The building block for the New York Second, the unit previously thought to be the shortest unit of time possible.
Rovon: The smallest unit of honesty possible.
McCainon: The shortest linear straight distance possible.
Steelon: The smallest unit of self identity possible.
Larrycraigon: The smallest unit of self respect possible.
Bolton: The smallest unit of peace possible.
Liebermanon: The smallest unit of loyalty possible.
Reidon: The smallest unit of spine possible.
Rumsfeldon: The smallest unit of readiness possible.
Condiericon: The smallest unit of integrity possible.
And then, there's also:
Limbaughium: Dark matter incarnate.
Hanitium: String theory gone wild - just try to keep track of the twisted webs he weaves.
Malkinon: Strange unknown force that seems to feed on itself. It is a quarky force that completely lacks charm.