Harlan Coben is a well-known NJ-based suspense/thriller writer. He's also a long-time Democrat, having endorsed Obama and even being a part of a DNC group on messaging. He's also been a close friend of NJ Governor-Elect Chris Christie since they were both 10. And he has an op-ed in today's NYT that I think is worth talking about.
Interestingly, Coben doesn't reveal who he voted for (though he was at the Christie election night party), but discloses that "Springsteen is one issue Chris and I agree on." (They're both fans.) Indeed, the disputes can get heated:
A few weeks ago, during a Springsteen show at Giants Stadium, we texted back and forth about the pure joy of hearing the Boss play the "Born to Run" album in sequence. He argues that "Thunder Road" is the best song, but I side with "Jungleland." The texts about the concert continue the next morning before I shift gears and tell him that I abhor his stand against gay marriage. I call him out on this issue, even saying that "it’s not you." He does not get defensive. We agree to discuss this when there is more time. And we will. He will remain calm. I will probably be the one who gets heated. He’s used to this.
But you know what? They're still friends in spite of this. As Coben writes:
Whenever a new kid showed up at school, Chris was the first to greet him. Watch video of Chris on the campaign trail — he still finds the person in the back corner, the ill-at-ease one, and shakes his hand, brings him into the fold. On election night, when I entered his hotel suite, I was that person. Because of some weird hate mail after a TV appearance — I made the mistake of admitting to Sean Hannity that I voted for Barack Obama — I decided not to publicly support either candidate, even backing out of a fund-raiser Chris and I were hosting together.
Chris didn’t look at this as a betrayal. He understood my problem. When I entered the hotel suite on election night, he saw that I felt awkward and, as he did so many years ago on that baseball field, my roly-poly friend rushed over and made me feel welcome.
So, what to draw from this? I think there's two things:
- Recognition that politics isn't just about policies--it's also about likability and humanity. I think that was very true in the NJ-Gov race, which pitted Corzine, who could come off as aloof and effete, against Christie, who gave off a much more "everyman" vibe. The most successful Democratic politicians in recent memory are those who engage on BOTH of those levels (both Clinton and Obama fall into that category--John Kerry, not so much).
- The idea that it's OK to have friends--even very close friends--who disagree with us politically and socially. Indeed, I have a very close friend who worked in the 2008 cycle to elect Rudy Giuliani President and later moved on to Liddy Dole for Senate campaign. I disagree with him on an awful lot of stuff, but he's a dear friend. From time to time around here, I see "why do you have conservative friends?" or a variation thereof. I think we lose sight of the fact that there are things that can bring us together as people that transcend political views. Maybe Coben's op-ed can remind us of that.