Some time back, I used to write fanfiction, and in one of those fanfictions I wrote this story. I've cleaned it up (heh heh) and gotten it down to just Schmedley's story. Being that it seems such a joyous Christmas this year, I think the story fits right in with how things are going.
So, without further ado...
How Schmedley the Rat saved Christmas
Begin Story-
This is the story of how Schmedley the rat saved Christmas. It was Christmas Eve in 1632. Santa was very ill and delirious. There was no way he was going to be able to do his usual delivery. Now, you have to understand that Santa had never missed a Christmas delivery, so there were no back-up plans for what was going to happen. Santa was in his sick bed and saw something moving, and in his delirium pointed and said 'You there, save Christmas' and promptly fainted.
Schmedley the rat (who at Santa's command magically became 6' 2" and decked out in Santa's uniform) looked at Santa and realized that if he didn't do what Santa commanded 1) He'd probably be out of a great gig, and 2) He'd miss the chance to fly around the world and learn how jolly old St. Nick did it all. All he said was "Eeeek," which in rat language meant "Sure thing, old man." Schmedley ran to the sleigh, which was already loaded, and climbed on board. He grabbed the reins and said "Eeeek," which meant "On Dancer, on Prancer..." yadda, yadda, yadda. The reindeer, not understanding rat-ese didn't move. Schmedley, who by now had decided that he would be known as Rat-a Clause for the evening, ran back to Santa's room and grabbed the biggest whip he could find from Santa and Mrs. Clause's collection of toys and went back to the sleigh. He mad sure the reindeer saw the whip (which was about 10 feet long with a heavy spiked ball at the end) and climbed back in the sleigh. Grabbing the reins again he grabbed the reins in one hand. With the whip in his other hand, Rat-a Claus yelled "Eeek." The reindeer, being smart enough to know that Schmedley would probably use the whip unmercifully on them took off.
Schmedley and the reindeer made their way around the world and delivered all of their toys. Their final destination was in London. After he had delivered his last toy, Rat-a Clause was about to go up his final chimney and get back into his sleigh when he heard the slightest sound from inside the room where he was. He looked around and saw the cutest young rat child he had ever seen. The young rat named Cindy snicker walked up to Schmedley and said "Eeeek!" which meant "Santa, why don't you give gifts to the young rats?"
Rat-a Clause looked at Cindy the rat and said "I don't deliver gifts to young rats 'cause rats know the real meaning of Christmas and don't need a commercialized version. That, plus we get to feast for weeks on the extra food that gets thrown out by the wasteful humans." As he was doing this, Schmedley was itching at one of his fleas. He then got the most wonderful idea. "I'll tell you what Cindy! Just because you were so nice, I'll give you some pets in a moment!" Schmedley then walked into another room and talked to his fleas and explained the idea of Christmas to them and asked if they would become Cindy's pets. The fleas, being moved by Schmedley's request agreed. Rat-a Clause then returned to Cindy and said "They've agreed." All of Schmedley's fleas then jumped (because fleas can't fly) over to Cindy who said "Oh, Santa, this will be the best Christmas ever!" Rat-a Clause then sent Cindy back to bed, flew up the chimney, climbed into the sleigh and along with the reindeer returned to the North Pole. Once there, Schmedley returned to regular size and ran to his hovel to celebrate the day with all of his rat buddies.
Once Santa found out that is was Schmedley who did the deed, his first thought was 'My God, what have I done?' and then he did go and thank Schmedley personally. It wasn't until preparing for Christmas 1633 that Santa realized just what had happened.
Wh...which was???
Schmedley's fleas were the cause of the outbreak of the plague in London that became known as the 'Black Death.'
And how's there a happy ending to all of this (being a Christmas story and all)?
Well, 1) Santa instituted a plan for such emergencies (although, amazingly enough, he's never missed a Christmas since), 2) There'd be no story of Rudolph if it weren't for Schmedley, and 3) Santa's work load was much lighter for several years.
End Story-