A terrible tragedy has struck America. A man from Nigeria named Umar Farouk AbdulMutallab has set his crotch on fire on a plane. This is a TERRIFYING attack on America that renders all of our civil liberties meaningless. It also marks the end of the proud Umar Farouk AbdulMutallab family lineage. There will not be a Umar Farouk AbdulMuttallab, Jr. Mr. AbdulMutallab's boys will never swim again.
As we grieve during this tragedy, one thing is clear: We are all Northwest Airlines Flight 253 Passengers Returning from Amsterdam on a Flight to Detroit now. We're unified. For the next couple of weeks, we will all proudly claim the Delta Airlines Passengers Returning from Amsterdam as our favorite international flight. Maybe not physically - but in spirit, we're all on Northwest Airlines Flight 253 en route to Detroit. Some of us (with a wide stance) will stopover in Detroit on our way to Los Angeles, though most of us are just going to Detroit because our grandmother lives there.
This self-inflicted attack on a terrorist's loins was about more than just the charred remains of his nard sac. It was about our Freedoms - the Precious ones, specifically. You see, terrorists hate our Freedoms. And because they hate them, they attack us. It is the hate of our Freedoms specifically that makes them attack us, but their hatred of our Precious Freedoms is especially intense. That's why we must unify today. Our unity brings us the strength to endure this tragedy, and to lash out against a country that we've never heard of and cannot pronounce.
Many years from now, we all will remember where we were when we found out that this man's testicles were lit aflame in a blaze of glory. We'll also remember standing in unity. Actually, a few years from now, Glenn Beck will urge us to commemorate these feelings of unity by forming a political party called the Rim Job Party and going to DC to scream about black people.
We're all Northwest Airlines Flight 253 Passengers now. Whether it's the little girl watching Twilight for the 4th time in Phoenix, AZ, the man in California cleaning the monkey cages at the San Diego zoo, or the priest in Richmond, VA who lost his leg in a tithing accident, we're all Northwest Airlines Passengers now. The terrorists can bomb their balls as many times as they want, but they cannot destroy our unity at this moment.
We're united in strength after this tragedy - a tragedy that should have been prevented were it not for the incompetence of the Obama administration. When will they wake up? How many terrorists' crotches do we have to lose before the loss becomes too great and it forces action? Obama has been AWOL during this tragedy. What kind of message does it send to the terrorists when our President plays golf after a terrorists' testicles are martyred? How many more terrorists have to light their scrotums on fire before America will finally respond appropriately with fear, anger, uncontrolled rage, shopping, and attempts to seize random oil fields in the Middle East?
President Obama is living in a Northwest Airlines Flight 252 world. He has forgotten the lessons of Northwest Airlines Flhttp://www.dailykos.com/story/2009/12/28/819928/-Were-All-NW-Airlines-Flight-253-Passengers-Nowigh
t 253! Well - we haven't! We're all Northwest Airlines Flight 253 Inbound from Amsterdam to Detroit Passengers now. And we will Never Forget.