It is quite difficult to elicit a "wow" when discussing the political tactics of officeholders in this day and age. This story, however, might do the trick.
Neither the convalescence of a man stricken with a stroke, nor the burgeoning bladder of one of their fellow officers, would keep the Republicans on the Wake County Board of Commissioners from quenching their lust for power (hat tip: Ben Smith):
After 75 minutes and 14 split votes Monday, Tony Gurley and the GOP regained the top spot on the Wake County Board of Commissioners - on a tie-breaker achieved only when member Betty Lou Ward took an unexcused bathroom break.
Her absence gave the board's Republican members a temporary 3-2 majority they used to vote Gurley into the chairman's seat held by Harold Webb, the octogenarian Democrat who is recovering from a stroke. Many thought Webb would appear in the chamber just to cast a ballot to pick his replacement, but the board made its annual leadership vote without him.
When Ward, a Democrat and the longest-serving member of the board, returned from the restroom and found Gurley sitting in the chairman's seat, she said: "Wonderful. Thanks, guys."
Last year, Democrats scored a 4-3 majority on the Wake County Board, but the board has been split 3-3 in recent months, following the extended illness suffered by Webb, who suffered a stroke approximately two months ago. There has been some talk that Webb would make the appearance on Monday, but his health had apparently made it impossible for him to do so.
This created an acrimonious 3-3 deadlock, which persisted until Ward left to use the restroom. Immediately upon her exit from the chamber, the county attorney was asked for guidance. When informed the vote could take place in her absence, fellow GOP Commissioner Joe Bryan called for the vote. Since absent votes count in the affirmative, the vote wound up being 4-2 in favor of Gurley.
Ward was out of the chambers for approximately two minutes.
In one of his first acts as Chairman of the Board of Commissioners, Gurley and fellow conspirator Joe Bryan distinguished themselves by casting the dissenting votes in a motion to provide food for one of the Democratic members of the Board, who happens to be a diabetic:
The board launched into more than five additional hours of wrangling about a new vice chairman - taking the meeting far into the night and featuring dozens of 3-3 ties between Commissioner Paul Coble and Ward. At one point, Commissioner Stan Norwalk made a motion to order sandwiches, citing his diabetes and need for nutrition. The sandwich vote passed 4-2 with Commissioners Joe Bryan and Coble voting "No."
Gurley took the ugly one step further later in the evening. When a motion to recess, to allow Norwalk to take insulin, was pushed to the floor, Gurley cast the lone dissenting vote:
Shortly after 2 a.m., Commissioner Stan Norwalk asked for the recess because he had not gotten his insulin shot Monday evening.
Norwalk, who has diabetes, said he was worried about his health if he waited longer to get the shot.
"I will not sit here and put Mr. Norwalk at risk," said County Commissioner Paul Coble, who along with Commissioner Betty Lou Ward are vying to be named vice chairman.
The vote was 5-1 with Gurley as the lone dissenter.
At one point, Gurley proposed having a recess so that insulin could be delivered from an all-night pharmacy.
Gurley said he voted no because Norwalk took back his offer to skip Wednesday's meeting in case former Chairman Harold Webb shows up. Webb's attendance would give the Democrats the ability to pick Ward as vice chairwoman.
Won't intentionally ditch a meeting so we can keep our artificial parity, just in case the Democrat recovering from a stroke comes back? Fine, then no insulin for you.
Something tells me that MSNBC's Keith Olbermann won't have to search high and low for the Worst Person in the World tonight.
This is one of those stories which you almost hope the reporter got wrong. Because if this is really the way it went down, someone is getting a pretty sizeable lump of coal in the stocking in a couple of weeks.