52 today... rockets are bursting overhead and the flag still waves?
As a small child somewhere along the line I got it into my head that I shall live to 110.
And, until recently I thought that was OK.....
Today, I would be Ok with 67.....
So, if I have 15 years to crawl this earth... what shall I do?
this is for the over 50 crowd...
Will it be enough to avoid being a burden to anyone? Does my happiness matter? Can I make a difference to more than those I love?
Funny questions I think, given that by now I am supposed to know where I am headed or at least the mechanics of the good life...but, I am not sure what the good life is..
Or, am I supposed to attempt something for future generations... that written record some leave behind has proven useful to future generations.... but what do I have to say or add? The world is so full of good thinkers......and feelers.....
One of the problems for me as a cogent being is awareness... awareness of global issues, national issues, individual issues..... the conflict of self and group... oh, it gets so deep doesn’t it? The measure and mind of man....and exactly where do I fit in? Among the unmeasured billions who live and die small lives...
I am not expecting to re-enter the work force at a professional level... kids still struggling with college and no jobs... husband spent by his VP life and no way out.... or is there?
I am actually thinking of firing up the old truck...pulling the trailer loaded with my farm gear and going door to door to mow lawns.... sounds Ok... except for the 100 plus days of temps over 100... today in 70 degree weather it sounds plausible...
Creativity and expressing oneself for the pleasure of creation.... odd, that isn’t quite the buzz it used to be......
Fantasy draws me to a wanderer’s life...since that summer in 4th grade reading Huck Finn in the tree house.... could there be a life on a river boat? Exploring the coves and currents along the Sacramento delta?
Anyone found the key to understanding their own lives? Any suggestions?
p.s. Politics not an option....