Even as a young skeptic Easter Sunday was exciting for me. As children, my sisters and I could always count on finding a basket full of yummy chocolate treats waiting for us on Easter morning. How exactly the most important date in the Christian calendar came to be associated with an anthropomorphic pagan rabbit hiding colored candy eggs is a story for another day. But real rabbits also have a story. One every bit as interesting, and as fun for the whole family, as Peter Cottontail's.
Rabbits are mammals of course and at first glance they appear to fall in with squirrels, mice, chipmunks and a bunch of other adorable little critters that make up the most successful order of mammals on earth today: rodents. The first proto-mammals are often referred to collectively as cynodonts, some looked and acted an awful lot like modern rodents, and they really did lay eggs! Cynodonts appear in the fossil record during the Permian over 250 million years ago and slowly evolved into placental mammals that give birth to live young.
Unlike the familiar large mammals we know today, those rodent-sized pioneers didn't have to wait for dinos to fade into natural history before they could inherit the wind. They were already thriving along side the reptilian titans long before the solar system cruelly tossed a space mountain into the Yucatan 65 million years ago. As luck would have it, with their furry insulation, small size and short generations, varied diet, and warm burrows, small mammals were especially equipped to survive and adapt in the harsh aftermath of the K-T Extinction. And that’s where the rabbit picture gets fuzzy.
More recent anatomical comparison suggests rabbits may not be rodents at all. In fact, they might be an offshoot or close relative of early Artiodactyls like the indohyus on the left. Modern artiodactyls include the largest, most unrabbit-like animals on earth today. But back in the Paleocene they were tiny and some, like mouse deer, still are. With tens of millions of years to work with, it's entirely possible an early artiodactyl or forerunner of same evolved into an order of their own, called Lagomorphs, now represented by rabbits, pikas, and hares. If so, one of the closer extant relatives of petite bunny rabbits would be the great Blue Whale!
At some point in that long evolutionary arc rabbits developed a most, shall we say, unusual dietary habit. Maybe, not too long ago, they were carnivores or insectivores before suddenly going vegan. Whatever the reason, rabbits today can and do ingest their meals ... twice. Pet rabbit food often comes in the form of, ahem, predigested pellets. So if you want to see it – and honestly, who wouldn't? – try feeding them some tough leaves or stalks in the evening and watching later at night. I'm told no respectable rabbit will eat its own poop in the light of day.
Regardless of how and when they evolved, nowadays lagomorphs are one of the most geographically widespread taxons in the world. They make a living in desert scrub, thick forests, and well past the Arctic Circle. They owe that success in part to two of the sharpest weapons in their evolutionary arsenal, 1) an impressive set of self renewing incisors that can strip tough bark off a log and inflict a surprisingly savage bite, and 2) they breed like, well, rabbits. In captivity, with plenty of food and water, a rabbit doe can produce five or six kits per kindle per month, each of which are sexually mature in ten to twelve weeks. Run that forward and we're talking something like a thousand rabbits in about one year.
Wild rabbits are highly agile, master tunnel builders, sometimes constructing vast warrens with myriad intertwining subterranean connections and escape routes making them difficult prey for man or animal. Since rabbits are mostly nocturnal, can eat near half their body weight in a single night, and they’re perfectly happy to chow down on the grain, leaf, and root, they can pose a serious threat to agriculture. But they’ve also been domesticated for food, fur, and more lately companionship. Dozens of domestic breeds exist, with more variations proudly presented by loyal friends of these delightful, furry animals every year.
Three classic breeds: Holland Lop, Black Silver Martin, and American Black Dutch.
With their big puppy dog eyes and soft, cuddly fur, it's no surprise rabbits have hippity-hopped their way right into popular culture. Generations have grown up with Bugs Bunny, Roger Rabbit, Alice in Wonderland, or Monte Python's vicious rabbit with big pointy teeth. And of course the famous character that kicked this essay off, the Easter Bunny and his basket of joy for all the soon-to-be-hyperactive girls and boys.
Alas, at the risk of sounding like old Irontail, I must report that at present there is no evidence in the fossil record of a mansized, bipedal rabbit creeping around in the wee hours delivering candied eggs or self portraits rendered in sweet chocolate. But a vaguely bunny-shaped treat, crudely forged out of Atkins friendly chocolate bars, did magically appear on Mrs. DarkSyde’s nightstand this morning. And it wasn’t all that long ago, in geologic time, when ancestors of the mammals celebrating Christ's resurrection today sat in the crook of a tree, munching leaves, pondering the primeval world before them with hare-sized brains. Evolution moves in mysterious ways.
Lagomorphs are highly social and quick on their feet. They breed fast, they evolve fast, and they can live patiently underground in sand, soil, or snow nibbling at dead roots and fallen leaves, while the world above convulses in nuclear holocaust or climatic catastrophe. Given time, who can say what the distant future holds for our lovable long-eared friends? So let’s not count out Peter Cottontail, or something a heck of a lot scarier, just yet.