From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE...
Well, that was interesting
Yesterday four thousand people packed the Augusta Civic Center to offer their opinions on a marriage equality bill that will soon make its way through the Maine House and Senate. If it passes and is signed by the governor, Maine would become the second state to legalize same-sex marriage through the legislative process. I wasn't at the event but I listened to a few hours of it via streaming audio. People got to speak for three minutes apiece, and the pro- and anti- sides alternated in 30-minute blocks.
One of the things I could tell right away was that supporters of the bill outnumbered opponents. The applause and cheering were undeniably louder and more raucous from the "pro" side. (Portland Press Herald columnist Bill Nemitz says opponents were outnumbered "by at least 2-to-1.") Some highlights:
The opposition trotted out all the usual---withallduerespectblesstheirhearts---bullshit. Gays getting hitched will destroy the institution of marriage, the institution of children, the institution of religion, the institution of...well, whatever institution you can think of, gay marriage will reduce it to rubble. Not many people know this, but our institutions here are made of straw. They don't even have roofs.
One conservative woman got up and recited a poem, which I thought was sweet. It was called, What the World Needs is More Manly Men. I believe I speak on behalf of gay men everywhere when I say: BINGO!!! Whoever you are, lady, you just became my honorary aunt.
One gentleman said that if marriage equality passed we would fall off a cliff. Maine does indeed have some dangerous cliffs, especially on Mount Katahdin and some northern coastal areas. But I'd be surprised if everyone just up and decided to go mountain climbing or to Acadia National Park and get clumsy en masse. More study is needed.
I especially enjoyed the good Christian pastor who cited CDC figures that supposedly claim gay people die twenty years earlier than the rest of the population. (What this has to do with marriage I have no idea.) He added, helpfully, that if same-sex couples are allowed to marry, the only people who'd benefit would be "lawyers and morticians." I'm still amazed how the fundies glom onto shitty science like tanning spray gloms onto John Boehner's hide. That "study" was "conducted" by disgraced psychologist Paul Cameron, who is viewed by credible researchers as a quack. He's full of crap. The CDC doesn’t even track the life spans of gay people!
But mostly I got warm fuzzies when this same pastor insisted that the new law would interfere with his god-given (I assume) right to kick people out of his church or prevent them from entering. Good point. Jesus was always disgusted by oppressed minorities. They were stinky and obnoxious.
There were other arguments against the bill: being gay is a mental illness caused by a repressive father or overbearing mother...it's human perversion...STDs! Syphillis!...it'll unleash the homosexual agenda!...it's like giving a driver's license to a blind person...it's an abomination!...it's social engineering!...what about the children!!!???
This was an interesting argument:
"We'll be ruining an opportunity to build relationships in the community. I just want people to be able to pursue happiness. But...I don’t want laws telling me what to do to pursue happiness. That's the fear I have with this. It's almost like a used car salesman or insurance salesman who says we've got to do this now. There's a universal law of nature---marriage between a man and a woman produces offspring."
Everybody clear on that? And then this guy:
"God will not be mocked! I tremble for my country! We must choose: God and country...or unrelenting decline."
False choice, anyone? But the award for unnecessary shrillness has to go to this guy:
"Oppose it for the sake of the United States of America, the Union, for everything that is decent!!"
To listen to these people saying these things with utter seriousness and barely-concealed anger was unsettling. But I just kept telling myself that this is a vocal but dwindling minority. These folks are on their way out. They're lashing out because they're mortally wounded.
I think the opposing side lost the debate yesterday when, late in the morning, an 86 year-old World War II veteran addressed the committee. He explained how he had served in Patton's Third Army, took part in the Battle of the Bulge, and was among the forces that liberated Paris. His wife died in 1992. They had four children, one of whom is gay. In a halting, raspy voice trembling with emotion, he said:
"American freedom and equality made this a nation worth dying for. We must have equal rights for everyone. That’s what this nation is all about. My wife and I did not raise our four sons with the idea that three of them would have full rights and one, who happens to be gay, would be left out."
On points, the hearings were a resounding victory for the pro-equality side. There's simply no other way to judge it. Our side was on-message, tightly-focused, full of emotional and often-heartbreaking stories, and at the same time respectful of religious groups, who will be affected not a whit by the bill.
The other side came off as a ragtag bunch of whiners and fearmongers and faux-experts citing crappy science. Crappy, crappy, crappy science. Listening to audio only, I had to occasionally check to make sure I hadn’t time-warped back to the 1960s. By late afternoon, the anti-gay crowd could barely muster the energy to clap for their own speakers. It was...kinda pathetic, really.
Of course, that guarantees nothing. The bill could fail. Or it could pass and the governor could veto it. Or he could sign it and a veto referendum could pass in November and repeal it. But there's no denying that, yesterday, the pro-equality side kicked ass for 12 hours. Without breaking a sweat.
Cheers and Jeers starts in There's Moreville... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Thursday, April 23, 2009
Note: Whew, what an Earth Day! I'm still drunk on earthiness.
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til Bush and Clinton debate each other: 36
Days `til the Morel Mushroom Festival in Brown County State Park, Indiana: 9
Maine's unemployment rate in March: 8.1% (up from 7.8% in Feb.)
(Source: The Exception magazine)
Number of banks that have failed since 2008: 46
Cost to the FDIC: $20 billion
Amount the FDIC has set aside for projected bank failures for the rest of this year: $22 billion
(Source: Parade)
Number of Super Bowls John Madden called, Emmys he won during his broadcast career, and age when he retired last week: 11, 16, 73
Percent of adults under 49 who considered newspapers a "most important source" during the 2008 election: 20%
(Source: Pew via DemFromCT)
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Your Thursday Molly Ivins Moment:
During the past two years, we have gotten several studies of the economic impact of the eighties, all of them grim. The latest studies show that 60 percent of the wealth created in the decade went to the richest 1 percent of Americans. An additional 14 percent of the wealth went to the richest two percent. And yet another 20 percent of the new wealth went to those in the richest 20 percent, leaving 6 percent of the new wealth to be spread among the remaining 80 percent of Americans.
[Vice President Dan Quayle] says the answer is two-parent families, but according to a study done by the Congressional Joint Economic Committee, based on Census Bureau data through 1989, two-parent families are having to run harder than ever just to stay in place. Their income in inflation-adjusted dollars rose 8 percent between 1979 and 1989. That includes all income levels. It was a rate of growth one half of that in the seventies, one fourth of that in the sixties, and one fifth of that in the fifties.
---May, 1992
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Puppy Pic of the Day: The Michael Phelps of the dog world. Wow!
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CHEERS to the "Oops" heard 'round the blogosphere. I don’t know about you, but my head is spinning over the way torture has suddenly grabbed the spotlight and dominated the headlines. GOOD!!! But also confusing. Rachel Maddow had a simple explanation last night, which is that we're now seeing a connection between torture ordered by the CIA and torture ordered by the military. The nexus is in Washington, D.C.---specifically at the desks of, in no particular order: Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Wolfowitz and Rice. While Republicans try to justify the damning revelations by suggesting that torturing detainees was necessary to obtain critical information, Fox News's Shep Smith (I always liked him best over there) coins a catchphrase that could've come out of the mouth of Network's Howard Beale: "We do not fucking torture!" (And I love his little "Oops" a few seconds afterward.) That sound you hear is a gaggle of former Bushies lawyering up. Goody goody.
P.S. Michael Moore turns 55 today. That's reason enough to revisit Fahrenheit 911 and remind ourselves how Bush kept us safe on 9/11. Or not.
RUH ROH to big Mac attacks. Oh, you Apple worshippers thought you and your precious computers were immune to hacker chicanery. Well, it was fun while it lasted:
[B]logs are buzzing this week about what two Symantec researchers have called the first harmful computer program to strike specifically at Mac. This Trojan horse program, dubbed the "iBotnet," has infected only a few thousand Mac machines, but it represents a step in the evolution of malicious computer software, [Symantec's Kevin] Haley said.
The iBotnet is a sign that harmful programs are moving toward Mac, said Paul Henry, a forensics and security analyst at Lumension Security in Arizona. "We all knew it was going to happen," he said. "It was just a matter of time, and, personally, I think we're going to see a lot more of it."
But don’t panic yet. iBotnet "infects only computers whose users downloaded pirated versions of the Mac software iWork." Those pirates are being taken care of by Navy Seals. God rest their souls.
CHEERS to the no-longer-worst president in history. Happy 218th Birthday, James Buchanan. Your present, sir, is official elevation in your ranking among worst presidents from #1 to #2. Unless you'd prefer a pair of socks.
CHEERS to keeping up appearances. President Obama yesterday blew our national parks a great big Earth Day kiss:
National parks got $750 million in federal economic stimulus Wednesday to chip into a to-do list that includes repairing historic buildings, constructing trails and increasing renewable energy use from Independence Hall in Philadelphia to Yosemite in California. "This is probably the most significant investment made in more than a generation," Secretary of the Interior Ken Salazar said in an interview before the Earth Day announcement.
More than 750 projects in 48 states are expected to create 30,000 to 40,000 jobs starting this summer. That includes 15,000 jobs in a proposed 21st Century Youth Conservation Corps.
Speaking of improving our parks, can someone please make sure they've booted the creationism books from the gift shops? Send 'em to Bush. C.O.D.
JEERS to getting emphysema at 35,000 feet. Can you believe there was a time when smoking was allowed on commercial airlines? I still remember traveling with my parents and having to sit in the back of the plane because my mom dragged on King-size Kents. What were we THINKING??! Thankfully the movement to ban airborne puffery went into effect 21 years ago today. So now all we have to worry about is catching an exotic disease from the passenger two rows back that causes instant diarrhea and gruesome facial disfigurement. But you'll have the pinkest lungs!
CHEERS to caging the vultures. Today President Obama meets with several credit card company executives to shake their hand, flash his million-dollar grin, and say, "You wanna quit gouging consumers voluntarily, or shall we make you?" Quick word of advice for any White House officials who intend to be in close proximity to the bankers: keep one hand on your wallet at all times.
JEERS to the Titanic of marketing plans. Twenty four years ago today, the geniuses in Atlanta foisted New Coke onto the nation. The response was...um...flat.
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Five years ago in C&J: April 23, 2004
CHEERS to Sunny Delight. Latest ARG poll has Kerry tied with Bush in Florida. But Pat Buchanan's still got a lock on the Jewish vote.
CHEERS to horizontal heroes. Defense Department mandate: if photos of coffins are ever seen by Americans, they will seethe over the lunacy of an unnecessary war and turn against the president who started it. They must never, ever, ever, EVER see them. Oops.
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And just one more...
CHEERS to the Hypocrite Slayers. Today is the fifth blogiversary of Americablog. The folks who started out with the highly-effective campaign to Stop Dr. Laura went on to expose fake White House "reporter" Jeff Gannon/James Guckert's prostitution past---not to mention scads of other Republican- and corporation-fueled shenanigans---seem to nestle themselves snugly between the snarky brevity of Atrios and the lengthier analysis of DKos. They're always one of C&J's daily "must-read" blogs and we wish them many more years in the pursuit of truth, justice and orchids, orchids, orchids!
Oh, and happy birthday, Bill Shakespeare. Nice tights. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
Step aside, aloof vampires with all your undead issues. Bill in Portland Maine is ready to howl. Unlike cold-blooded neck biters, this poster guy for animal magnetism is hot.
---USA Today
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