Today I woke up to bad news, my grandmother passed away shortly after her breakfast. I am still not really sure what to say or how to feel, especially since her health has been the 800 pound gorilla in the room whenever that side of my family gathered.
Anyway I would like to share the story of someone who shaped me greatly...
I lost both grandfathers a couple months apart when I was one. When I was little, before they passed, we would smush 3 musketeers bars and eat "chips and dip". It was some of the best fun I ever had. Naturally my grandmothers and I have always been pretty close.
There was a time that I would go up to visit both grandmothers for a week during the summer, which somewhat ended around the time my dads mother passed away. Her death affected me more than I could really tell at the time, despite the fact that I was closer with my other grandma.
Well enough about that, let me tell you about the wonderful person she was. In those summers, many that were around July 4th, we would celebrate with sparkelers and other fire related devices. I would help her tend to her garden, which was enormous and included at any time probably close to 50 kinds of vegetables and fruits (mainly strawberries and melons). She also had a number of apple and cherry trees.
Most of the fruit was turned into pie, and many cakes were made. She baked and decorated cakes, lots of weddings. Despite the fact that she lived in a small town in Northeast Iowa, she was always busy. I would assume that had something to due with her personality and quality of her works. Even though the cakes came from a box and the frosting was the recipe on a different box for the most part, it was always good. One of the high points of my youth was eating the top of a cake (the part that is sliced off to make them level) with the excess colored frosting.
It was heavenly, don't let anyone tell you differently, that is the best part of a cake. Sadly this cake eventually would have other consequences.
She was diagnosed with diabetes and did not take well to missing her favorite foods. Grandma was stubborn in a lot of ways, and we could tell missing the cakes and cookies got to her. For a while she continued to make cakes, but I always got the sense that it weighed on her to not be able to enjoy the finished product.
She also participating in a traveling dance group of other older people. They even performed at the Iowa State Fair for a long time.
I enjoyed those summers, more than words can describe. She was a very loving person, even if words did not express such. That was the perfect time for me to go up there as well, since my Aspergers was just beginning to show. I connected with her and used those summers to get focused and slow down my mind.
Well the last couple of years things have gotten continually worse, especially after she had to leave her house and live in a nursing home. I feel bad that I could in recent times I have not been able to visit as much. This was in part because I didn't want to have so many bad memories to accompany the good ones, since I don't forget much of anything.
Today's event are especially strange since my parents were just up to see her yesterday. She kind of hustled them out of town, I got the sense that she didn't want them to be around when it happened.
Sorry if this is particularly spastic or otherwise jumbled, I'm sure you all understand.