My ex-husband cheated on me. While we were married, he not only had an affair with one woman, but cheated on her, too, by having an affair with another. He is, and was, an unpleasant person; I am very glad to be divorced from him. In fact, I remember the first night in my new apartment after I had left him as one of the most joyous nights of my life. I spent the entire day unpacking and making everything clean and neat. I had my beautiful cat, Jane, with me. I vacuumed, put clean sheets on the bed, hung curtains, scrubbed the kitchen and put dishes away, and lit a fire in my fireplace. I was finally free and safe.
Several weeks before, I had had the miserable task of calling his ex-wife, with whom his children were staying for the weekend, to let her know that I was leaving him and that I thought it would be a good idea if she kept the children with her. I adored those children -- I still do.
I had helped raise them for several years, and they had become a part of my heart. But I also believed that it would be wrong of me to criticize their father or to let them know about the myriad reasons I had to leave him. Maybe they knew; maybe they had heard him screaming obscenities at me, belittling me, dragging me down the stairs. But whatever they knew, he was their father, and I was not about to cut what little threads there were between him and them, because I was exiting, stage left.
I consulted with the psychologist I had asked to help them (and had agreed to pay) and he agreed with me. I would no longer be a presence in their lives, he said, and it would only be confusing to them to have me as some adjunct sometimes person. It was better to talk, say good-bye and let go.
I keep up with their lives peripherally; sometimes I hear from them, mostly I don’t. I hope I made the right decision. I think I did. In any event, the decision I made was for them.
And the reason I am writing this tonight is because I am, quite frankly, appalled at the decision made by Elizabeth Edwards (I have admired her so much and for so long) to "come forward" (as it were) with a book about her husband’s affair and what had happened to her family as a result.
On Oprah, this week, Ms. Edwards apparently will discuss the following topics:
In her first sit-down since last year's revelations that her husband, former presidential candidate and U.S. Senator John Edwards, carried on an extramarital affair, Elizabeth Edwards is out to prove resilience isn't just the title of her new book. It's been her life.
Winfrey joined the Edwards missus at their North Carolina home for an episode set to air this Thursday. The two discussed the state of the Edwards's marriage, her thoughts about his mistress, ongoing questions about whether he may have fathered a baby out of wedlock and her struggles with terminal cancer.
"Is it a day-by-day thing?" Winfrey asked about the couple's marriage, to which Edwards replied, "Neither one of of us is out the door, so I guess it's day by day, but maybe it's month by month."
Oprah also asked if they're still living together, to which Edwards replied they were.
"Are you still in love with him?" asked Oprah.
"You know, that's a complicated question," Edwards replied.
Source ~ E Online!
I sure don’t blame Elizabeth Edwards for being angry. Who could? She had dutifully campaigned with her husband, been the perfect wife and mother, had contracted breast cancer and had, later, discovered that it was terminal. Throughout all of this, and after losing a son in a terrible car accident, she had been cheerful, resourceful, accommodating and terrific. And her husband had rewarded her by having an affair, which became public and was no doubt humiliating.
I understand all of this. And in some ways (though not all -- having never been in public life and having never suffered from cancer) I have walked in her shoes.
What I don’t understand is this: I was appalled when I found out that she had continued to support her husband and act as though everything was hunky-dory when he was running for President of the United States after she knew she knew that he had had an affair -- because the outing of that affair, had it come after he had been nominated for the Presidency by the Democratic Party, would have ended any chance the Democrats would have had to recapture the White House. I knew how many other things she was facing, but how could she have continued with this?
And now, what is the reason for this book? As I said, I have walked, in small ways, in Elizbabeth Edwards’s shoes. My children were stepchildren. I did not have cancer. My husband did not cheat on me on me on a public stage.
But what is the point of this public airing? What will her children think?
It all seems very sad.