From the bluffs of Alton, in the true-blue state of Illinois.....
I have once again been asked by Michael to subject treat you to a Monday Cheers and Jeers; Bill and Michael took a nice weekend getaway as a reward for their hard work, and Bill didn't want to present a C&J today that was not up to his usual standard. For my part, I've been working pretty hard these past two weeks also, and my relief veterinary work has taken me to Mt. Carmel, Bloomington, Lincoln, and Springfield, all in the great state of Illinois. I've seen the inside of a number of hotel rooms and not much of home during this time, but now I have a week off coming up, so kicking it off with a C&J seems like a great way to start!
Doc's Cheers and Jeers begins below the fold, with news from around the nation, around the world, and up your alley! ("Up my alley?" Up yours!)
Sun sets over a cornfield: Mt. Carmel, Illinois.
DISCLAIMER: AAbshier's Cheers and Jeers are not affiliated in any way, shape, or form, with Bill in Portland Maine's Cheers and Jeers. The use of the words JEERS and CHEERS , the swoosh/gong device, pie references, pootie pics, lusty wenches, mattress references, whomps, moist, and flicked peas are all used with permission of Bill in Portland Maine and the members of the C&J Café community. Any further resemblances to BiPM`s Cheers and Jeers are deliberately coincidental. So there.
NOTE: In honor of Virgomusic and McDoc's just-completed move to Boston, I am declaring today, Monday, June 29th, as Wicked Awesome Day. Be sure to have a plate of baked beans or a bowl of chowder today, or get scrod if you're so inclined.
Doc's Bad Joke of the Week
(in the gray box so you can avoid it and not miss anything else)
Pavarotti knocks on the Pearly Gates.
St Peter opens them and says "Oh Luciano, it's you, Come on in - squeeze through".
Pavarotti says "I have a letter from the Pope for you".
St Peter opens it up and reads it.
"Here's that tenor I owe you".
The Madness of King Conservatism:
Cheers to comeuppance. A Florida law passed by the Republican-majority legislature, designed primarily to restrict the activities of ACORN, has now ensnared Republican activists attempting to cut into the voter-registration lead that Democrats took in 2008. Seems the R's ran some voter-registration drives without registering with the state, as the law requires. I do believe the petard is high on this one. (But will Republican AG Bill McCollum enforce the law? Stay tuned.)
Jeers to the "gift" that keeps on giving. Fresh off her two-time Worst Person in the World performance, Missouri state Rep. Cynthia Davis has signed on to a lawsuit by California lawyer, Orly Taitz, that--yes, you guessed it--challenges President Obama's American citizenship. Jeers that she has four other state legislators who stand with her in supporting this crackpot lawyer. We really need to get Democratic majorities in my bride's home state. (via Fired Up! Missouri, who has been doing exemplary reporting on "Let them not eat" Cynthia.)
Cheers to Cynthia Davis smackdown goodness, also on Fired Up! Missouri. Dr. Ingemar Tablet argues that Rep. Davis is actually a citizen of Pluto. It gets better from there.
Jeers to the continuing odd relationship between conservatism and bad spelling. In Georgia, the Glory For Christ Football League (motto: "Make a joyful trash talk unto the Lord") was started for boys in homeschooling that, due to state law, are unable to participate in public school football programs. The coach of the team posted his rules, and, as the kids say on Fark, hilarity ensued. On the plus side, the coach and perhaps his players will do well at Liberty University. (Key phrase: "The Lord loves football too." After all, Our Saviour said in the Beatitudes, "Blessed are those who juke and stiffarm on a runback, for they shall score touchdowns." Certainly it was none of that "meek inheriting the earth" nonsense. But I digress.)
On a somewhat similar note, Cheers to unintentional irony. An unnamed caller to the conservative daily newspaper, the Belleville News-Democrat, left this message for the paper's Sound-Off section:
Please get a spell checker for your reporters and editors to use. Your paper is used in classrooms as a teaching aide. A good assignment for the kids might be to see who can find the most spelling errors or English grammar mistakes.
Emphasis mine. I assume it was the paper that made this spelling error, not the caller--though given the mouth-breathing status of some of the LTE writers/callers to the BN-D, one never knows!
And now, a word from our sponsor:
I checked his bio to see if he had been either a ship's engineer or a steelworker--which would been logical explanations for his loud voice--but it turns out he's been a career pitchman, who started his rise to prominence by selling stuff on the street. RIP, Billy Mays. I'm sure St. Peter heard you coming from light-years away!
But he's not the only pitchman we lost. RIP also, Ed McMahon:
Ed was 86 years old--that's 12.28 years in dog years.
Cheers to marital aids (no, not THAT kind--minds out of the gutter please!). An inventor has developed a toilet paper dispenser that rotates so that the roll can either unroll over the top or from underneath, as desired. I'll just settle for Nancy putting the TP on the dispenser in the first place!
(True story: when Nancy and I were in the long-distance years of our relationship, she spent a week with me in Sarasota. After I put her on the plane for her to fly back, I was feeling very sad and lonely--then I got home to find a roll of toilet paper sitting on top of the spindle in my bathroom! It actually made me smile.)
Cheers to a valiant effort by the U.S. national soccer (that's "football" to the rest of the world) team, which made it to the finals of a FIFA-sanctioned soccer tournament for the first time in their history. They were defeated for the Confederations Cup 3-2 by the national team of Brasil, a nation with a long and storied tradition in international football. The U.S. had a 2-0 lead going into the half, and almost pulled off one of the biggest upsets in football history, but a big rally by Brasil in the second half won the game for them. It was still a great match!
Jeers to CNN Headline News. Nancy and I watch it on the mornings she goes to work, and this morning they spent about 8 minutes on various Michael Jackson stories, and less than 2 minutes on Iran and Iraq. I wish they would save this for Showbiz Today or something. I fired off yet another Sternly Worded E-mail, but I suspect it will have little effect. (Mitigating circumstance: at least CNN-HN isn't as vapid as Fox and Friends. Almost, but not quite.)
The Relief Veterinarian Circuit:
Cheers to being welcomed to the Mt. Carmel Animal Hospital (MCAH) in style:
Cheers to MCAH's clinic equines--yes, equines:
That's Pancho the donkey, and Tinker the horse. They're good friends, and it was nice to look out from the clinic and see them playing in the pasture. Both were very friendly to me, also, though Tinker had a habit of wanting to nip at my waistband!
Jeers to being away from home. I was on the road for most of the past two weeks. Cheers to being home again for a while, and having most of my jobs be out-and-backs next month instead of road trips.
Inky says, "Hit that reco button! And don't empty the laundry basket yet, it's the perfect cat bed!"
Floor's open! What do you have to Cheer and Jeer about today?