URP Representative Pete Hoekstra (R-MI) plans to introduce legislation to protect against "lewd conversations and descriptions of the private behavior of public persons." HR-69 would prohibit people from discussing or reading about the private matters of politicians, especially matters sexual in nature. The recent effects of the public disclosure of the private matters on Senator John Ensign of Nevada and Governor Mark Sanford of South Carolina, both Democrat Socialists, have only highlighted the importance of this bill.
"It’s morally reprehensible," says Representative Hoekstra. "I walk down the street and I hear all these crude words – adultery, prostitute, incest, diapers, what-have-you – in conversations about our hard-working public servants. What kind of talk is this? Who is protecting us from these innuendos? We had to give Senator Ensign a standing ovation to cheer him up, for Christ’s sake! Lord knows what we’ll need to do for Governor Sanford."
The exposure to lewd words even affects the most innocent among us. Recent studies and internal polling have shown a strong correlation between public airings of sexual topics and low moral and self-esteem, as well as blindness, among freshmen lawmakers. "This kind of talk is what God is trying to protect us against," confirms co-sponsor Mark Souder (IN-3). "It’s just dirty and immoral to be using such titillating words in public. It hurts people! It has got to stop!"
Media outlets would also be affected by the legislation. This is because an unfortunate side-effect of improved educational standards is that more and more politicians today can read, exposing them to psychosis and blindness. "It’s an epidemic that needs to be addressed promptly," says Rick Warren, senior pastor of Saddleback Church in Southern California. "I’ve been talking to people and there’s been tremendous support in the Congress, on both sides of the aisle, for this sort of bill. I’m coordinating efforts among evangelicals nationwide to provide needed support to get this bill passed quickly. We simply can’t be having the hard-working and proud servants of the American people exposed to such evil."