I have a prediction that I want to put on the record so I can say "see, I told ya so!" next year when it comes true. My prediction is that the extreme right-wing wackos (the birthers, etcetera), egged on by the usual suspects, will go absolutely bonkers next year when the government begins the 2010 Census. They will claim the Census is a socialist/communist/fascist plot by Obama ("ObamaCount!") to invade their homes, their lives, and their privacy, all while legitimizing gay marriages, providing citizenship to illegal aliens, funding abortions, etcetera.
I make this prediction in part to bask in my powers of foresight, but also in the hopes that the Obama Administration will take note of this and do something - anything - to mitigate the lies and misinformation that is inevitably going to come from the far right when the Census becomes their Obama-plot of the day. I offer a few ideas in this respect, but sadly, I'm also going to have to predict that Obama will just let the lies reach critical mass, and do nothing but appease Republicans out of his misguided desire for "bipartisanship". We'll see, though.
Hitler counted people, too!
- Glenn Beck, FOX News Channel, April 2010
While they pretend to love the Constitution, the fact that it legally requires the federal government to conduct a census every ten years will be completely lost on the right wing extremists who so desperately "want their country back" from having a black president. So, come next year when the government begins counting Americans for the 2010 Census, expect it to become a huge subject of protest by the right-wing extremists and racists.
They'll claim that the Census is Obama's socialist/communist plot to send federal agents from the big, bad federal government into their homes to, among other things, violate their privacy, to count how many pregnant women there are so the government can set aside sufficient funds for mandatory abortions, to count how many guns every American owns so Obama will know how many guns there are to take away, to compile detention lists for (imaginary) FEMA internment camps, and snoop around the homes of every American to copy their computer files and search their bedrooms, to know how many taxpayer dollars to give to ACORN, and of course to count illegal immigrants and make them full U.S. citizens. Glen Beck (the dumbest, most fact-adverse of the right-wing muckrakers) will go so far as to assert the Third Amendment is being violated by Obama sending "federal soldiers" to the homes of American citizens. The 2010 census will be the first time Sarah Palin ever hears about the federal decennial census. She'll be convinced that it is an unprecedented power grab by Obama... Obama's "Chicago Politics" in action, and that it has nothing to do with the Constitution (and the media will happily give her a national voice to express these clearly false idiocies). They'll all call the 2010 Census socialist, Nazi, Hitler, Soviet, communist, fascist, etc. They'll scream about their privacy, even though they're the same people who have been arguing against the existence of a right to privacy ever since Roe v. Wade.
And while they protest the census as being an evil plot created by Obama, they will simultaneously come up with complaints about how the census should be conducted! For example, they'll scream, complain, and burn Obama in effigy because Glenn Beck will tell them that the census is recognizing gay marriage. It doesn't matter if it's true or not (though it would make perfect sense to count as a "family" or "household" a legally married homosexual couple from a state that allows gay marriage). They'll demand the census be conducted as they want it, so as to violate the rights of homosexuals. And while there are certainly valid arguments against counting illegal immigrants in the census (as their numbers are used to apportion electoral votes and congressional representation), it's been done that way for a long time and is by no means a plot by Obama. It can only work to add to a state's population (and thus more congressional representation and electoral votes), so for census purposes... the more illegal immigrants a state has, the better.
What really bothers me is that this glimpse of our pending future is crystal clear to me, yet the Obama Administration will do absolutely nothing to prepare for it, or to make any effort at nipping it in the bud. Doing so would be simple - they could get statements, on the record in front of a video camera, from every elected Republican giving their thoughts about why the census is important to their home state (they'll give normal politician-style answers). This should be done before hacks like Limbaugh, Hannity, O'Reilly, Palin, and Beck have decreed the census to be a big government scheme created by Obama to violate the privacy of the American people. Once these unelected leaders of the Republican Party contend the census is bad and must be stopped, none of the elected Republicans will be allowed to say rational things about the census any longer... all the elected Republicans in Congress will have no choice but to join in the attack, trying to stop the "ObamaCount Hitler Census" and its resultant rape of the American people. The key is to try to get elected Republicans to speak on the "rational record" before they are beholden to Rush Limbaugh's talking points.
Another thing Obama could do would be to decide not to count illegal aliens in the census "because it would legitimize their unlawful entry into this country." This would, on the surface, please the xenophobic radical right - they always take offense at illegal aliens being counted in the first place and they will surely complain about it when the census ultimately does count illegal aliens. But southern states have more illegal aliens than northern states, so not counting illegals would mean less representation in Congress and fewer electoral votes for the South. That's a good thing as far as I'm concerned. Who'd have a problem with that? Oh yeah, the southern states. But Obama should force the southern states and their southern right-wing leaders to look hypocritical and demand that the federal government count and include illegal aliens in the census.
Even better, Obama could offer to exclude anyone, or any state, from the census who doesn't want to participate (but if they're not counted, then they're not counted). There's nothing wrong with letting right-wing radical retards deny themselves representation in Congress, electoral votes, and federal funding for state programs. When Rick Perry threatens to have Texas secede from the Union over the "ObamaCount" Census, just tell him that the federal government will happily accommodate the whims of Texas and no federal census workers will show up in the state - Texas can be completely excluded from the Census if it wants to (and it can secede from the union). That way, either Perry will have to backtrack or Texas will have any growth in its population over the previous ten years excluded from the Census. That's called a win-win.
Unfortunately, Obama most likely won't do anything about this, and will just let the radical racist hypocrites pile on the attacks, calling him a Nazi, a nigger, and everything in between - merely because the federal government is required to conduct another decennial census. I'd rather not have to see the "ObamaCount" issue play itself out at Fox News teaparties and town brawl meetings. I'm bored by it already, and if you read this then you probably are too. But get ready for it, it's coming.... Maybe there's something we can do. If anyone gets a chance to ask a Republican a question on the record, ask what he/she thinks about the Census... before Limbuagh tells them how they have to answer the question.