Blackwater, the mercenary agency notorious for unprovoked attacks on Iraqi civilians and numerous suspicious murders, has once again changed its name, this time to "Nice Kitty."
Spokesman Jack Blackwater (no relation) made it clear this was no easy decision.
http://www.thenation.com/...
"We tried 'Xe,' but people thought we were some kinda energy drink," he said. "Then we tried 'US Training Center,' but we started getting tech support calls for Microsoft Windows." He shrugged. "Finally, we chose 'Nice Kitty,' because nobody would expect a nice kitty to come at you with heavy weapons."
Prompted further, Mr. Blackwater admitted the company had also considered 'Cute Puppy' and 'Little Birdie.'
"These names go against type, I know," he said. "Blackwater just sounded too creepy. People associated it with sinister, psycho stuff, and that's just not the image we wanted to project."
When asked for further details, Mr. Blackwater cried out maniacally, waved his AK-47 in the air, screamed something about "Rock Jihad in the name of God," then sprayed the room with bullets.
Luckily, this reporter was on Skype.
Update: Just for fun, try this... Save the kitty gif to your desktop. Then make it your desktop background, tiled. Now that's freeekin' weird!