We have recently been experiencing a Category 5 hurricane of FUD. Call it Hurricane Elmer, if you will. The levees of rationality on Daily Kos have burst, and the bullshit runneth over. But rather than cry over spilt FUD, I thought I would just make it easier on the people spreading it and give them a nice, quick, easy template they can fill out for their next diaries spreading Fear, Uncertainty, and Doubt.
Title
Choose one of the following:
- An enraged outburst against betrayal, with three exclamation points.
- An affectedly calm expression of disappointment utterly belied by the delusional content.
- A panicky wail against fictitious fears stoked in your imagination by media speculation.
Body
The following phrases are mandatory:
- ...is this change we can believe in?
- I am so disappointed.
- ...has lost control of the debate.
Generally, the structure should be as follows:
- State that one was a supporter of Barack Obama. This is necessary because if the audience were judging entirely by what is said after that, they would naturally assume the diarist had written-in Nader or voted McCain as a PUMA.
- The "But" statement. Insert one of the mandatory phrases from above.
- A declaration that your irrational fear, ignorant inability to understand how the legislative process works, or boredom in the hours between one unprecedentedly accessible, immensely informative presidential town hall or press conference and the next is the President's fault, and indicates he is not exercising "leadership."
- An utterly unreliable source, whose credibility would be close to zero even if their "anonymous sources" actually existed - something that cannot be taken for granted in the present media environment.
- Pity porn. Here you should wallow in leftist self-pity and make dark references to past disappointments.
- False analogy. Now associate President Obama with those past disappointments, no matter how much of a stretch it requires, but be sure to add a question mark at the end just to prove that your statement is thoughtful rather than a moronic outburst of ideology.
- End with a self-righteous, pompous prescription, sneeringly telling the repeatedly-proven strategic genius President how to do his job, and darkly implying that your oh-so-important contribution to his victory (putting a bumper sticker on your car) may be rescinded if your brilliant advice is not immediately implemented.
- The Update, thanking everyone for getting to the Rec List.