GOP health care reform facts.
In light of yesterdays reports that Democrats will abandon bipartisanship and craft a health care reform bill on their own, be warned that you will see the following:
Health care reform will provide funds that will allow patient's and their pet's heads to be transposed. Think Chihuahua head on woman's body. Evidently Obama is a big fan of "Mars Attacks".
Patients receiving treatment for throat ailments will be implanted with tiny alien embryos that will punch out of their chest at some inopportune moment. Funds will be provided to Sigourney Weaver to hunt down the critters and incinerate them. Evidently Obama is also a fan of "Aliens".
During the government takeover, all doctors will receive cosmetic surgery so that they resemble Marcus Welby. Then they will be able to say, "I may look like someone who plays a doctor on TV, but I really am one."
Surgical scalpels will no longer be sharpened.
All men will be required to have hysterectomies.
Patients with interesting new diseases can be shipped off to experimental laboratories for dissection.
All doctors will be required to wear little "Hitler" mustaches.
Not only will there be "death panels", there will be eunich panels.
Granny will be forced to have an abortion before they pull the plug on her.
Because of health rationing, tongue depressors will be used twice.
Genetic modification will enable women to give birth to an eight pound human eye. Then, when the distressed parent cries, "Oh no! What could be worse?" the OBGYN will be required to tell her, "It's blind."
You have been warned.