From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE...
BREAKING: Newspaper birth announcement fraud?
We report, you decide:
Mr. and Mrs. Barack H. Obama
6085 Kalanianaole Hwy., son, Aug. 4
---Honolulu Advertiser, 8/13/61
"I was actually born on Krypton and sent here by my father, Jor-el, to save the planet Earth."
---Barack Obama, 10/16/08
That oughtta give the flat-birthers somethin' new to chew on, since the whole Kenya thing ain't pannin' out. Get on it, Lou Dobbs!
Remember last year when the traditional media tried spinning the line that Obama was too young to be president? I pointed out at the time that a quick check of the highlights of his birth year, 1961, was enough to make anyone feel plenty "seasoned":
>> None of the James Bond movies had been released; West Side Story won the Oscar for Best Picture
>> John F. Kennedy was sworn in as the 35th president---we're now up to 44
>> The Pillsbury Dough Boy was introduced
>> The Dow Jones Industrials reached a high of...734!!!
>> David Ben-Gurion resigned as Israeli premier
>> The Grammy for best Rock & Roll recording: Chubby Checker, "Let's Twist Again"; Best R&B recording: Ray Charles, "Hit the Road Jack"
>> Median price of a new home: $17,200
>> Harper Lee won a Pulitzer for To Kill A Mockingbird
>> East Germany started replacing its barbed wire barricades with a permanent wall dividing Berlin
>> South Africa withdrew from the British Commonwealth
>> The Boston Marathon was won by a Finn. A Finn!
>> The Emmy for outstanding news program went to the Huntley-Brinkley Report
>> Sun Myung Moon could only scrounge up 36 couples to mass-marry
>> Roger Maris hit 61 home runs, breaking Babe Ruth's single-season record
>> The Beatles performed at Liverpool's Cavern Club for the first time; Elvis's "Blue Hawaii" started its 20-week run at the top of the charts; The Beach Boys performed for the first time
>> Car 54 Where Are You, Hazel, and The Dick Van Dyke Show premiered
>> The price of a gallon of gas was 31 cents; A gallon of milk---49 cents
So, have his youth an inexperience hobbled his ability to be presidential? Hardly. He learned with lightning speed how to obfuscate, flip-flop, delay, misspeak, waffle, bow to the mega-corporations and be as secretive as virtually any president we've had. (Tell me again, sir, why we can't see the White House visitor logs?) So bully for him. Er...right?
But I digress. A birthday isn't a professional milestone, it's a personal one. Personally, I think Barack Obama's a great guy. And he's got a terrific First Lady and kids to help him blow out all those candles on his cake today before the fire alarm goes off. Or, if they want to get to the eatin' part even faster, Rahm Emanuel can snuff 'em out with a single icy glare.
Happy Birthday, Mr. President. And many blessings on your camels.
Cheers and Jeers starts in There's Moreville... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Note: Today's C&J is a complete forgery. The original is hidden behind a painting of dogs playing poker.
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til Halloween: 88
Days `til the Taos Mountain Music Festival in New Mexico: 11
Average interest rate on consumer credit cards: 14.94%
Average interest rate on student credit cards: 15.33%
(Source: Maine Sunday Telegram)
Portion of Americans who admit to having peed in the pool: 1-in-5
Percent chance that Michael Phelps has admitted to peeing in the pool: 100%
(Source: Parade)
Percent chance that the owner of that pool is gonna be royally pissed when he gets home from vacation: 100%
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Tuesday Words of Wisdom from the Right-wing Blogosphere:
terri schiavo was a test case for these lefties.
really.
they argued that withholding medical treatment and food and water led to a peaceful death. they will do the same with old folks. and reap a double savings by letting an old person die: they spend less on health care and don't hjave to pay out any more social security.
all of a sudden medicare and social security are looking awfully solvent!
---Commenter "reliapundit" at Doug Ross@Journal
All together now: One...two...three... Classy!!!
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Are those paws or flippers???
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CHEERS to mooning the skeptics. As late as the weekend the naysayers were filling their lungs with helium and screaming in high-pitched voices, "The stimulus is a bust! The stimulus is a bust!" Well, I've got three words for them: Suck. On. This:
A huge influx of federal stimulus money to state and local governments more than offset a sharp drop in tax collections, helping to put the brakes on the nation's economic decline, new government data show. The stimulus funds helped reverse six months of spending declines, pushing state and local government expenditures up 4.8% in the second quarter, reports the Bureau of Economic Analysis.
"The money has caused a very sharp change in the path of the economy, which had been in steep decline," said Chad Stone, chief economist at the liberal Center on Budget and Policy Priorities in Washington, D.C. ... "The stimulus is working as intended," said Stone.
I think I speak for everyone when I say: this news comes not a moment too soon. Oh, to avoid catastrophic man-made hurricanes from breaking out, please: don’t everybody exhale at once.
CHEERS to jumpin' in. Rep. Joe Sestak's debate with Sen. Arlen Specter at Netroots Nation is a mere ten days away, and the timing couldn’t be more perfect: this morning Sestak will officially throw his admiral's cap in the ring from a Philly VFW hall in a bid to unseat the 79-year-old incumbent in the Pennsylvania primary. (Says here you can watch it when it starts, around 8:30 ET.) No, Joe's not a flaming liberal. But he's a damn sight better than Specter, who practically made an Olympic sport out of raging against an issue, only to support it when it came up for a vote. Still, Joe might want to rethink his bumper sticker slogan: "Universal health care in every household, and a torpedo in every garage."
CHEERS and JEERS to transparency in action. This is pretty cool...and pretty scary. Our state has an agency called the Maine Health Data Organization, and they've set up a database that shows the cost of specific health care procedures. Portland Press Herald columnist Bill Nemitz
adds:
We're talking an array of hospital procedures ranging from a chest X-ray to a bronchoscopy.
We're talking price comparisons that show which hospitals and other medical facilities charge the most, which charge the least and which fall somewhere in between.
We're talking what various insurance plans pay for each operation or diagnostic test, as well as what you can expect to pay if you're one of the estimated 118,000 (and counting) Mainers who don't have health insurance.
But mostly, we're talking numbers that can make your head spin.
Um, this is health care we're talkin' about. Are there any other kind?
CHEERS to the real Dean of the D.C. press corps. Helen Thomas---the take-no-prisoners journalist who was respected by Presidents Kennedy through Clinton before she was summarily ignored by President Bush (and Obama? Tsk.)---turns 89 today. Words of wisdom:
"It is my hope that future journalists will adhere to the true principles of the profession and understand that they play a vital role in helping to keep democracy and the exchange of free ideas alive at home and abroad.
Reporters should be free to operate independently and be courageous enough to keep a critical eye on those in power who fail to act in the interests of the nation. The media do not---and should not---expect to win popularity contests. But they will be respected only if they remain true to the ideals of the profession. They must be detached. But they must also care."
---From Watchdogs of Democracy? The Waning Washington Press Corps And How it Has Failed The Public
I wish she'd tell them personally. With a little kick in the shins to drive the point home.
CHEERS to going all-in. Ever since he "lost" the presidential election in Iran, Mir Hussein Mousavi has remained steadfast in his loyalty to the millions of supporters who continue to stick their necks out for him. That continued Sunday when he...
...accused the authorities on Sunday of using "medieval torture" to extract confessions from protesters on trial over the wave of post-election unrest. ... "The scenes that we saw were a clumsy preparation for the launch of the 10th government," Mousavi said on his website of Saturday's trial, held just days before Ahmadinejad is to be sworn in on Wednesday.
"They expect a court, which itself is fraudulent, to prove that there was no fraud committed in the election," said Mousavi, a former post-revolution premier who lost to Ahmadinejad in what he said was a rigged election. "What are they trying to convince people of... by relying on reports from reporters nobody has heard of and relying on confessions which obviously bore the hallmarks medieval-era torture?"
A representative for the Iranian Supremely High Council Thingymabob issued a brief statement: "Ridiculous! We did not use medieval torture. We used modern-day American torture." So there.
CHEERS to the new kids on the Episcopal block. Gene Robinson became the first openly-gay reverend to be given the magic key to the Bishops' private locker room six years ago...and now it looks like he's getting company:
Episcopal Church leaders in Los Angeles today nominated an openly gay priest and an openly lesbian priest as bishops, becoming one of the first dioceses in the national church to test a controversial new policy that lifted a de facto ban on gays and lesbians in the ordained hierarchy.
Naturally the conservative wing of the church is in a tizzy: "At this rate of explosive growth we'll have six gay bishops by 2015. Slow down! Too much gay! We're not ready for raves!!!! Aaaahhhhhh!!!!!" And they call us drama queens?
JEERS to the new breed of snake handler. Wow---seems like there's a market for everything. Take, for example, Steven Oberfest, who rakes in the green as The Prison Coach: "For $200 an hour, the 41-year-old professional fighter teaches more than two dozen white-collar criminals a year everything from jailhouse do’s and don’ts to how to defend yourself in a prison fight." No doubt valuable skills to have in the pokey, and we're sure he'll never run out of clients. We hear Oberfest started the business only when he discovered he couldn't give away lessons as "The White Collar Conscience-Restoration Coach." Vive le capitalism.
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Five years ago in C&J: August 4, 2004
JEERS to forced allegiance. Bush/Cheney campaign is making people sign a "loyalty oath" before they can get into official party rallies. On the upside, attendees can hear the cool new rendition of Heil to the Chief.
CHEERS to 4-wheel medicine. 21 year-old Jason Stackiewicz of La Grange, NY fell into a coma after getting hit by an SUV. His dad whispered in his ear: "If you wake up and live, I'll buy you a corvette." Jason just picked out a cute little $75,000 model. Now it's his dad who's in a coma.
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And just one more...
YIKES to lead feet and busted taillights. Whew...you Kossacks are, like, bad to the bone. Look at yesterday's poll results and try and convince me you're not a pack of rebels seeking frontier justice on the open road, speed limits be damned:
Have you ever been pulled over by the cops?
Yes---once (12%)
Yes---more than once (81%)
No (5%)
I got pulled over for speeding once---in 1983. But I should've gotten pulled over for something much worse a few years later when, having gotten bucked off my brother's girlfriend's horse (I insulted its mother), I lost my glasses but still proceeded to drive back home for a blurry hour and a half on the highway. Thankfully I made it back okay. Although waking up the next morning in the old lady next door's bed was a little embarrassing. As I recall, she smelled like Ben-Gay but made a mean omelet. My point is: do you lawbreakers go to rumbles, too? I've always wanted to try one. My weapon would be a Garden Weasel. Oh, cool---nurse is here with my medicine. Nighty night.
Have a nice Tuesday. To increase your productivity, try multitasking. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
"I'm surprised that Bill in Portland Maine, a highly neurotic beast with some questionable electrical wiring, hasn't hit self destruct yet."
---Ziggy Campbell
Wired
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