Here at Blogistan Polytechnic Institute our motto is Magis vinum, magis verum ("More wine, more truth"), both a wordplay on the well-known Latin phrase In vino veritas and an inspiration to our resident faculty. Yes, once again they've withdrawn to the wine cellar library to drink think for the weekend. Sadly, judging by the week's mail, some in Texas think truth is too strong a wine, and should be replaced by artificially sweetened beverages ... at least for students.
More below the fold....
We should first note that Blogistan Polytechnic Institute bears no ill will toward any state. Admittedly the Professor of Astrology Janitor did offer an anti-Texas comment this morning, asking why the staff play Texas Hold'Em rather than his preferred game: Blind Man's Bluff. The Chef heard him out with a benign smile, then reminded him that when last they played that game he went all-in on a Deuce because she had only a Six. He then began his signature mewling, and she went off to the kitchen to make a big batch of cheesy Texas toast. That leaves your humble mail room clerk time to sort through the mail, much of which came from Texas....
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Dear Ms. Crissie,
You liberals are being unfair to the Texas State Board of Education. We're trying to make sure our school textbooks teach white boys to be proud of their heritage. That's why I'm insisting the textbooks include Republicans in Congress who voted for the Civil Rights Act instead of always focusing on liberals like Martin Luther King, Jr. Not a single black senator supported that bill, but 27 Republican senators did. It was whites who got that landmark bill passed, just like men gave women the right to vote. Shouldn't white men get a "Thank you?"
Don in TX
Dear Don,
We concede that no black senators supported the Civil Rights Act, but only because there were no blacks in the Senate in 1964, and only five blacks in the House. So it's true that white legislators - including some Republicans - passed the Civil Rights Act. It's equally true that in most states(*) only men voted to ratify the Nineteenth Amendment, again because in most states(*) women could not vote. Systematically beating on people, then asking for a "Thank you" when you stop, makes us wonder how the word chutzpah would sound with a Texas twang.
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Dear Ms. Crissie,
But don't you think it's important that Americans be proud of America? Just because some minorities might feel bad about how America conquered a big part of Mexico in 1848, and Native American lands, and Puerto Rico and the Philippines and Hawaii and Guam and Samoa and ... well, we have U.S. military bases in 130 countries around the world ... is no reason to use the word "imperialist." That word leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Can't we just say "expansionist?"
Barbara in TX
Dear Barbara,
We agree that sometimes the truth is difficult. But we suggest that concealing the truth in favor of a more politically palatable fiction could define another word you don't want used in reference to America: "propaganda." Objecting to the word "propaganda" while advocating for textbooks that are propaganda, again, makes us wonder how the word chutzpah would sound with a Texas twang.
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Dear Ms. Crissie,
I'm not from Texas, but I'm standing up for them because GOd chose me to talk about values. I believe in values, and I think it's important that our schools teach American values. If that means enhancing the American story so our mountains stand a bit taller, I don't see a problem with that. That's valuable.
Carrie in CA
Dear Carrie,
We concede that you have found value in enhancements that make mountains stand taller, but we question the educational value of history implants. As for "GOd" having chosen you, that's true only if you tip the "d" back right-side up. It seems artificial d's have become your trademark.
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Dear Ms. Crissie,
Why you hate beauty queens who support values
and also the proud work of American troops who
you betcha
provide the freedoms that shine eternal
like the midnight sun in my beloved state
where there are no death panels because
when our founding fathers founded us
they were wise
you betcha
and we should trust their wisdom
and be thankful also for grandmothers
also
you betcha.
Princess Airspace in AK
Dear Princess Airspace,
We note that the word "blank" in "blank verse" should not refer to the poet's state of mind.
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Dear Ms. Crissie,
Please tell me you got no more letters from beauty queens this week. I'm hungry for that cheesy Texas toast, but I don't know how to make it, and I think I need to rinse that taste out of my brain.
Mentally Gargling in Blogistan
Dear Mentally Gargling,
Oh dear. We understand. We find a cinnamon cocoa iced latte - we add a half-teaspoon each of ground cinnamon and cocoa powder to the ground coffee before brewing - to be a wonderful brain rinse. As for Cheesy Texas Toast, Chef assures us it's very easy. Cut a loaf of French bread into 1" slices, then soften a stick of unsalted butter. Puree the butter in a blender with four cloves of garlic and a pinch of salt, then spread the mixture on the bread. Grill until golden brown, sprinkling grated pepper jack cheese and green onions on top after you flip the bread once. Bon appétit!
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Happy Sunday!
(*) Correction and h/t to teacherken for noting that some states had recognized women's right to vote before the Nineteenth Amendment.