I just got off the phone with my son, who is a career army MP who is ready to deploy to Afghanistan in two weeks. I feel I have to share our conversation, or else go crazy.
While I fear for his safety and will for the entire time he is over there, I can take comfort in knowing that he feels determined that his mission is not only necessary-but essential.
And that is the essence of my diary.
It is no secret among those who know me through my comments or diaries that all of my children are wingnuts. My son is career army, my daughters are right wing Christian radicals. (Yea- we have a great relationship.)
I have tried countless times to explain to my children that they are being lied to- especially since they trust their news to FOX. They believe what they want to believe. And they believe, especially my son, that this "war" will end in victory for us.
"How'" I asked him. "Do you have a written example of - 'OK, if this happens-then the war is over?'" Is the capture of main Al Qaeda operatives, including Osama Bin Laden, the key to victory? If not, I asked, then why are we there? What will determine victory?
Let me backtrack for a moment. I raised my children to be independent thinkers. As a hippie, I decided that any choices they are faced with be determined by their input. I remember when my daughter announced she wanted purple hair, and I said, "Go for it" and she never did because why do something to aggregate the parent when the parent agrees, right?
So I now pay for that course of individuality by having three right wing republican radicals to argue with several times a week. My daughter believes that the world is only 6000 years old- that global warming is a myth- and anyone who disagrees is doomed to hell.
And now my son is going into harms way. And he is so emphatic about his mission- about how right we are to be over there, and how what we do will change the course of history, that I wonder and worry if maybe he is right- or maybe it is good that he thinks he is right, because that will keep him safe.
That's what it takes to support our troops.
I remember the Vietnam War. Being of a military family, we didn't do much about the protests against the war. (I channeled most of my energy during the '60's to the Civil Rights movement) But I understood the frustration of those who refused to be drafted and sent off to die for something they didn't believe in or care about. All the fury of the American people during that time was mostly on the draft, let alone a war we did not want.
Now we are fighting two(?) wars, both longer than Vietnam and both world wars. And what is the goal? What is 'Mission Accomplished?' My son couldn't give me an answer.
I just want him to be safe and come home alive and well adjusted to be the husband and father his family needs. I want to give him the support he needs, even though I do not agree with the reasons we have for him being over there.
We have had countless debates about Iraq and Bush's policies and what should be the 'closure' for 9/11. And if a career army MP and his mother cannot find common ground, how do we expect the leaders and the powers that be to find it.
To me, our goal is to find Osama and bring him to justice. Any other directive is futile and a waste of time, money and manpower.
My son disagrees. He feels we have a mission to 'liberate the Afghan people' from the Taliban and any hold by Al Qaeda. He seems determined to succeed in his mission.
So, as my title suggests- what to do...what to do?
I want to support the troops, but how do I do that when I do not agree with why we are there? And while I am so proud of my son for his service to our country, how do I get through the next 12 months?
Sometimes I wish it could be like in the 'olden days', when nightly news reports of the war were aired. When we were given the list of those killed in action, or wounded, or missing. When Americans knew the price of war- and decided for themselves it was not worth taking.
Now unless you pay attention, or have a loved one in the military, the war is almost non existent. And nobody cares.
Well, the yellow ribbons are up at my house and the prayers are being said.
Be safe, my son. Come home.