So I'm sitting there eating my lunch, chicken-vegetable-black bean soup and provolone- portabella mushroom sandwich (It's Portland, we eat anything), and a woman from work, who I hardly know, reaches across the table, touches my arm, and says, "Thanks. I feel grateful to you for taking care of people like me."
This is odd. It is a first.
What prompted the outreach? The new health care reform legislation. Even though women use far more health care services than men, men will be charged the same amount as women from now on. Essentially, men will subsidize the health care of women. Being a woman is no longer a preexisting condition.
I have a fine 84-year-old mom, 3 sisters, 5 excellent aunties, and many great women friends. I had 2 attentive, loving grandmas to show me why I ought to care about women and I do. I've been married for over a quarter century and care for a daughter. Without women, life ain't worth it. Without women, screw it.
But still, it's rare to hear the appreciation voiced. And yes, HCR means that men will be paying into a system that pays most of its benefits to those who aren't men. Like Social Security - women outlive men by about 7 years, even though men pay most of the bills (at this time) women will be collecting, by far, most of the payments. It is, without a doubt, a subsidy paid by men to support women.
She asked, "Does this make you feel like a chump?"
I hadn't expected that. "No," I replied, "We're all on the same team. Society is like a family. We do best when we take care of one another. The way we treat each other is a measure of our hearts."
"Is there anything I can do for you?"
I thought about it. "Sure, 70% of the jobs lost when the USA sent all its industrial base off-shore were held by men. Millions of jobs were lost. Many of those men will never be able to raise their chins from their chests - ever. I guess I'd ask that you keep us in mind."
"OK."
"And I see that 99% of the body bags in our wars are filled by young men. It's irritating to hear the words 'gender equity' when such disparate numbers are presented. Maybe stop that?"
"Can do."
"And I'm sure that most men are tired of being judged for being little more than their wallets. 'Bringing home the bacon' had it's place at one time, but today, with the economy as it is, many men no longer can find gainful employment and are in no position to make a great deal of money, if any at all. Can you refrain from judging us as purely money machines?"
She said, "No."