This is a story about a teenage boy who came out as gay at an all-boy's school in Texas.
This is a story about how the world might be changing,
There are so many postings today about frustration regarding society's (and this site's) approach to gay rights and tolerance, that I thought I would share a story that, at least on some levels, might give a spark of hope.
I live in Texas. By cliche, of course, that means I live in a world of homophobes, racists and the like. Now, I have seen things to the contrary -- a lesbian couple with two daughters, for example, who are treated just like any other set of parents. But be that as it may...
My sons attend an all boy's school. Perhaps the kind of place where the greatest cruelty towards gays would be expected to be found.
Recently, a teenager in my oldest son's class admitted he's gay. Didn't admit it quite on purpose -- he was crying in the school chaplain's office, talking about how he had come out to his parents and they had basically told him that he could either be gay or be their son. (yah, smart response.) the parents told him that if anyone found out, he would lose all his friends.
One of the boy's classmates heard what he was saying, and went over to the school cafeteria, where the other members of the class were having lunch. He told them what he had heard, and that this other kid -- let's call him Matt to make the story easier to tell -- was over in the chaplain's office crying.
They all got up, leaving behind their unfinished lunches. Yes, all of them. Then they headed over to the chaplains office. The story here would likely be expected to go to teasing, or beatings or whatever.
That's not what happened. These boys found Matt, still crying. They told him he was their friend, he would always be their friend, that they loved him (yes, the actually said that) and that nothing about his being gay would change that. They told him they were proud of him for having the courage to tell his parents. And then they talked about what jerks Matt's parents are.
Then the conversation got even more remarkable. They asked Matt if he had a boyfriend. And when he said yes, they asked what Matt's boyfriend was like. He described their relationship, and expressed some discomfort with it because the boyfriend wasn't very nice to him. And when they heard what the boyfriend was doing, several of them said things like "Sounds like a jerk. Dump him. You can do better.'' One of them told Matt that he was a good looking guy and shouldn't have any trouble finding a better boyfriend.
Then, they started plotting with Matt. One of them -- call him Jordan -- knew a girl -- call her Julie -- over at the sister school who's a lesbian, with a girlfriend, and her parents were also pushing her to start dating boys. (they don't know she's a lesbian.) So they all hatched a plot -- Jordan would introduce the girl to Matt, and the two of them would "start dating.'' All the other kids would treat the two of them as if they were a couple. Matt would announce to his jerky parents that, gee, he's no longer gay, since he's dating this girl. Then, once they were out of the house -- with whatever help needed being provided by the classmates - Matt would go off with a boyfriend, and Julie would go off with her girlfriend. And all the kids would never say anything to the parents about what was really going on, instead whenever necessary treating Matt and Julie as if they were a couple.
From that point on, everything has been great for Matt. The ruse with his parents (they bought it. idiots) will continue until he's out of the house, so he's happy to be able to have a boyfriend (he has a new one) and not take crap from his parents. There have been double dates -- really, Matt and his BF, and another kid in the class with his girlfriend. There have been conversations about gay marriage -- none of these kids can figure out what the big deal is, and why anybody would want to oppose it.
I spoke with the chaplain, and he said it was the most uplifting thing he had seen in a decade. ANd he said, it looks like the next generation might be a whole lot more mature about this than ours ever was.
I know it's a single story. I know it is far from representative. But I also know, it's a sign of something. Here's hoping that the world can learn something from the Texas kids at an all-boys school.