GUS (Gave Up Smoking) is a community support diary for Kossacks in the midst of quitting smoking. Any supportive comments, suggestions or positive distractions are appreciated. If you are quitting or thinking of quitting, please -- join us! We kindly ask that politics be set aside.
You can also click the GUS tag to view all diary posts, or access the GUS Library at dKosopedia for a great list of stop-smoking links. Check it out!
Smokers can be kind of predictable. On most days, under most circumstances, smokes tend to happen at regular times: when we get up, after meals, before and after work, during regular smoke breaks, after leaving events, as we watch TV or surf the 'net, that last one before we go to bed. It's often how we structure the day; activities don't seem "right" unless there's a cigarette involved, and woe to you if you can't have one at those times for some reason.
Smokes also tend to happen in specific places: at the breakfast table, in a favorite chair or spot on the sofa, in the car on our way to work or at bus stops, next to our computers, in front of the TV or game console.
Or, as is increasingly likely, outside somewhere: a porch, the yard, a garage, on the street. In other words, somewhere NOT IN THE HOUSE. More on that later.
And just as we associate certain times with smoking, certain locations or activities can become linked with nicotine intake, until they, too, don't seem "right" unless you can smoke while there.
Even for those who smoke (or smoked) in the house and have a smoke-friendly cocoon to go home to, there are inevitably situations where you're asked (or directed) to take it outside: parties or family functions held at nonsmoking households, workplace events, activities held in nonsmoking venues like movies or sporting events, smoke-free restaurants and bars, or a visit to pretty much any municipal building, hospital, library or school.
We've all seen those huddles of smokers in their designated, roped-off or glassed-in spots, next to doorways from here to Timbuktu. Hell, most of us have BEEN in those huddles of smokers. And unless you live in a very temperate place with fantastic weather 365 days a year, it's rarely much fun to be in those huddles. In fact, it can be a pain, both literally and figuratively.
"Nature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where, it cannot be argued, there are never enough comfortable chairs." - Fran Lebowitz
You learn to put up with cold hands, runny noses and eyes, merciless sun, wind-tossed hair, wet feet, and clothes that reek of the concentrated smoke odor that develops whenever smokers are herded together. It's really not a whole lot of fun, to be honest. You may try to make your "smoking spot" a little more comfortable, maybe add a comfy chair or some music, or something fun to read, but still.
If you're going it alone, you may contemplate nature, or people-watch from behind your cloud of smoke. Or you may end up commiserating with fellow smokers, often people you have nothing in common with except a mutual dependence on nicotine. In those cases, there's often an undercurrent of "this SUCKS" which is hard to ignore, though we sometimes try to mask it with a temporary, "we're all in this together, might as well make the best of it!" faux camaraderie and carefully dull conversations about the weather.
For those of us who live and work in smoke-free environments, and are (or were) relegated to smoking outside for the most part, there's a certain frustration in having to leave or drop whatever it is you're doing in order to do something that you are compelled to do, thanks to your addiction. For smokers who who are (or were) stuck in tiny, unpleasant smoking areas and forced into circumstantial conversations with the dwindling, cranky, often defensive and occasionally guilt-ridden Die-Hard Smoker's Club, smoking tends to lose most of the pleasant associations we may have developed, and is revealed for what it is: an addiction that's negatively impacting your free will and quality of life. Over the years I lost count of how many "I'm going to quit these damn things" conversations with total strangers I was involved in or overheard. Too many, I suppose.
When you're getting ready to quit, one of the things you can do to make the process easier on yourself is to change your habits ahead of time and start to break any remaining positive associations you may still have between the times or locations of your smokes and the act of smoking itself. Those "best" smokes -- the ones that your brain still equates with relief, reward, pleasure, a pleasant activity, or any other type of positive reinforcement -- are the hardest ones to give up when you quit. The times and locations of those smokes will be most likely to trigger cravings after you quit.
With that in mind, the more you can do to eliminate those "good" smokes (by shifting times or locations) and make them as routine or unpleasant as possible, the easier it is to say goodbye to them when it's time. You want those fond recollections of smoking as you have that first cup of coffee to be a distant memory, not a part of your day that's suddenly "off."
You want to lose the familiarity of that pack of smokes a few inches from your mouse hand as you smite internet trolls and argue with wingnuts. You want to be able to hear a phone ring without thinking "where are my cigs?" because it's been a while since you let yourself smoke during phone calls. You want to stop associating the act of plunking yourself down to watch a favorite show or new DVD and having a few smokes to "unwind." You want to eliminate the association between the adrenaline rush of beating a game level or finishing a work project and lighting up to "celebrate." In short, you've got a lot of little habits to break, not one big one.
How does this work? Well, for starters, you and your smokes cannot coexist in the same space. They have to be relegated to a different room, or -- even better -- somewhere outside. That spot -- a corner of the garage or back porch or front stoop or wherever -- should not be comfortable or fun. That means nothing to read, no phone calls, no conversations or shared commiseration, no music, nada. Zip. You want it to be as isolated and as boring as it can possibly be.
Why?
Because you want to make each smoke deliberate.
You want to avoid the mindless, unthinking, routine smoke.
You want to delay it as long as you can, and then take it somewhere else -- away from your activity, away from other people, away from your "real life" in some way -- so that when you finally give in and go have one, the action is both mindful and slightly uncomfortable or awkward.
You want to be alone with your cigs, with nothing to think about except, well, the fact that you just had to drop whatever you were doing to go smoke, because your addiction isn't giving you a choice. The more mundane, un-fun you can make it, the better. If you're staring at a blank garage wall, or the corner of your backyard fence, instead of a computer or game console screen or a friendly face, you're more likely to really think about what you're doing, and want to be done with it. It's sort of like an unpleasant time-out for grown-ups.
And if your routine smokes take place in your car? Go have your vehicle detailed, buy a new car air freshener, and designate it a No Smoking Zone. If you are absolutely gripped by a craving while in transit, force yourself to pull over and get out of the vehicle before lighting up. (If you have a highway commute, I don't recommend you put yourself in physical danger, but see if you can hold out until the next rest area or exit if you can manage it.) Want to make it even tougher to give in to a craving? Lock your cigs in the trunk while you're in transit.
Sometimes playing a little game with yourself can be all it takes to ride out a craving - give it five more minutes, or tell yourself you won't pull over until the radio plays a song you like, or until you hit a specific landmark (preferably one ten or more minutes away, since the average craving only lasts about five). If you make it that far, see if you can make it to the next landmark. And the next. Or leave a little early and change up your route, take different roads, find new ways of getting there.
Sometimes, a little change of scenery makes all the difference.
Any other suggestions or war stories from the GUSsack front? Did a change in location help you any? The floor is yours!
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