WYFP (which stands for "What's Your Fucking Problem?") is our community's Saturday evening gathering to talk about our problems, empathize with one another, and share advice, pootie pictures, favorite adult beverages, and anything else that we think might help. Everyone and all sorts of troubles are welcome. May we find peace and healing here. Won't you please share the joy of WYFP by recommending?
For several days I thought about what I could write about for WYFP. I thought about the Gulf oil spill - but there are scads of diaries on that written by far more eloquent Kossacks than I. Then I thought maybe I'd write about my accident, aftermath and dealing with the insurance company. What a downer, though. Finally, I realized that the WYFP diaries are like a pressure release valve so I decided to write about....
Packaging. Unnecessary packaging, to be specific. Ever since 1982's Tylenol poisonings, the things we buy have been packaged in "better" and "safer" ways. If I am sure of anything, it's that the woman who committed that horrible crime has a very special place waiting for her in Hell. Thanks to her, we now have to have tools specifically for opening packages. Okay, thieves had a little something to do with it, too. And the call for childproofing. The upshot is that we spend more time opening things than using them.
Take medicines for example. Have you ever bought Mucinex or its generic equivalent? These pills come in a regular plastic bottle.... which comes in a box that is twice as wide as it needs to be. Seriously, half the box is just air. What is up with that? All this for a measly 20 tablets. And don't even get me started on why the generic has to match the brand name packaging!
Some medicines come in "blister packaging." So called for the blistering profanities you will emit when you try to get at a pill. And they can't decide on one method of getting to the pill: push it through (if you are the Hulk) or bend the corner and peel back (good luck with that). Be careful that you don't break the... pill. Oh well. The pieces will wash down. Might even work faster, being in pieces and all.
Then there are childproof bottles. Either you have to line up teeny arrows on the cap and the bottle (try that in a dark bathroom) or you must push down and twist - an operation best described as an isometric exercise. Good thing you'll get an aspirin once you finally get the darn thing open!
DVD and CD packaging has got better lately. Remember having to open the box, then the plastic wrap, then the tape seal? At least the boxes (mostly) have gone away. Still, they make special tools for opening the DVD/CD. Myself, I just use a hobby knife. Which brings up the possibility of injuring oneself in the process of preparing for movie night. Blood and popcorn don't go well together.
Even our food comes in unnecessary packaging. Fruits come in packs - plastic trays with cellophane wrapping. The most egregious of these, IMHO, is the packaging of Sunsweet's Ones. They wrap each individual prune (and they are prunes, dammit! stop calling them dried plums) and then 7 ounces worth are tucked into polyvinyl chloride canisters. Not only is this wasteful, it makes the prunes more expensive. They are not candy, dammit. Stop acting as though you are See's or Godiva - you'll lose in comparison every time.
And just look at this:
Have you ever seen anything so stupid? Okay, don't answer that but, really, do we need the waste and who wants to have to fight their way to a banana? Nature created the only packaging we will ever need for the banana. No need for improvement.
Toys are one of the most flagrant users of unnecessary packaging. Toys wrapped in plastic, placed in a box and then wrapped again are ubiquitous. A toy in a plastic form-fitted shell is harder to get to than a pearl in an oyster (trust me, I've opened many oysters for this very purpose). Action figures are the worst:
And it's not just toys: headphones, batteries, geegaws, doodads and all sorts of useful and non-useful stuff comes in these infuriatingly difficult packages known as clamshells. See, my oyster analogy isn't so silly now, is it? These are so frustrating that another gadget was invented to open them. I am not kidding:
Seriously. This has got to stop. We have enough stress in our lives without having to fight packages to get at the things we need. Not only that, but most of the unnecessary packaging goes right into land fills where it will sit for.... hell, we don't even know. For all our sakes, and for the sake of the planet and future generations, we have to stop this insanity. Because the pills that treat it are too damned hard to get to!
I need to take this opportunity to say that The Mad Logophile will be delayed until next Sunday. I've had an ugly week and just have not been able to work on it much. I swear though, it will be worth the wait.
So, what's your FP tonight?