My dad signed hospice papers 3.5 weeks ago. My youngest sister went missing about the same time. I went to NN in Las Vegas anyway, and I have received so much support from everyone there, and everyone here, I wanted to tell all of you how much you
rock!
I know there was an entire panel devoted to community building.
I know Markos was surprised by the development of community.
I am the beneficiary of community - the support I received at NN and here is one of the things getting me through this very difficult time in life.
Right after (like 14 hours after I came home) NN, the kids and I flew into Des Moines for a visit to my parents in Story City, Iowa. We were there a few minutes, and the phone rang. My stepmom was crying at the end of the call, so I shuffled the kids off somewhere, and we talked.
A hospital in Fort Wayne, Indiana, had my youngest sister, M, 37yo, and was trying to treat her for infections. She was found wandering the streets the week before, delusional. The hospital finally tracked down my middle sister, D.
The 3 of us girls with Dad in June - yes, I'm the one in the Star Wars T.
We spent some time googling - tracking down her recent residences, her car, and possible places to help her. One of my aunts came from Ohio to line up a plan. M stayed on the plan about 3 or 4 days and is now refusing medications and food. M is currently admitted for a psych eval, and sister D is starting guardianship proceedings.
M has been bipolar for over 20 years. And she's made some choices that were not very healthy. And now she's gone off the deep end, just when Dad is so sick. I feel like I'm nine years old again - that's when my mom went "back to work." I picked up D from her classroom, then we walked to M's babysitter, and I walked both girls home and fed them a snack, and made a little supper later. Now I will be helping to take care of D and M the rest of their lives.
Dad actually looks pretty good for a person in hospice care. He's on oxygen, but is taking less pain meds (just Tylenol at night) than during the last round of chemo and radiation. The tumors are all reportedly very small - he has metastasized colon cancer through his abdomen and chest. He uses a walker around the house - he had a few falls. They seem to go out twice a week, plus doctor appointments.
My parents with my children.
My travel junkie husband aka the professor is on a 3-day trip to Washington DC, then leaves for Europe for 16 days next Thursday. More practice being a single parent.
I know I'll bounce back from this and somewhere out there is a new normal. I know this, because I've already done it once. My mom died 8 years ago, when my son was one, and 23 months later, we adopted our daughter after spending a year living in Germany.
I appreciate and miss the Rescue Rangers and OND gang - and I'll be back. I'll keep hosting WAYWO as handwork is a great comfort to me right now. Even though I stepped back from some responsiblities, I'll stick around.
And again, thank you all so much - the 4 days of interesting panels and socialization fed my soul. The community support at dailykos is equally important to electing more and better Dems. And all the non-kos people at NN were great too!
Never underestimate the power of positive social contact!