I'm usually at client sites all day on Tuesdays, so I figured I'd slip my cattle call entry in Monday night and then cut and paste it into the main thread on Tuesday.
- Kucinich: A big bounce up as voters finally realize that on primary day they are expected to go to the Poles.
- + 3) Sharpton & Lieberman: Attempting to reclaim the center, they hold a joint press conference at which Lieberman announces "On the subject of gay marriage, Al and I have some news that we would like to share with you. . . ". They both head up in the polls, possibly based on the Clinton "two for the price of one" formula.
- Mosley Braun: When it is realized that no one has seen the candidate for two weeks she is traced to Lincoln, Nebraska where it is learned that she is funding her campaign by performing a lounge act twice a night at the local Holiday Inn.
- Edwards: A gain in grassroots popularity when it is revealed that the bulk of his contributions are coming in the form of $10 bills (usually accompanied with a note that says "Here's $10 kid, go see a movie").
- Kerry: Campaign temporarily derailed when candidate is arrested on a manslaughter charge in Iowa. Kerry is overheard to remark "How extraordinary. I was certain they said we were hunting peasants".
- Gephardt: Electorate wearies of negative ads when Gephardt launches 30 second spots in Iowa claiming that Howard Dean once dated a thespian in Greenwich Village and, as a doctor, suggested that his patients masticate their food before swallowing.
- Clark: Campaign staff demoralized when a newspaper brought back from 2006 through the candidate's time machine bears the headline "President Kucinich to sign the Hellooo, Duh act".
- Dean: Endorsements from the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgendered Sport Shooters League and the Lavender Dog southern gay democrats are not enough to offset the discovery that the endorsement previously believed to have come from Jesse Jackson Jr actually came from Jermaine Jackson Jr.