I imagine we've all known someone like him at some point in our lives. He was always a bit of a blowhard. Or perhaps not; perhaps he was an awkward, insecure, overweight kid who never really got along with other kids. Either way, this guy grows up, like the rest of us, and one way or another you end up - maybe sometime in your twenties at a high school reunion - running into him again. He's the big fat drunk guy at the end of the bar, spouting off to anyone willing to listen.
He's entertaining, in an embarrassing sort of way. Those who know him roll their eyes and try politely to edge away from him and find someone else to talk to. For those who don't know him, there is something oddly mesmerizing about him. Does this windbag really believes his own nonsense?
When the conversation turns to politics or race, he really gets going. He becomes a bit crazed, in fact. He plays well to the crowd. He quickly realizes that the more outrageous he becomes, the more the crowd around the bar enjoys his antics. He revels in all the attention and loves the effect his voice has on others - and on himself. He really loves the sound of his own voice. And, crazy as it seems, the windbag does believe his own nonsense!
He seems sort of knowledgeable, but there's something odd about how he processes information. After a while, you notice that his mind works in strange ways; what the rest of us perceive as factual reality becomes oddly twisted in his re-telling of it. To him, two plus two doesn't quite equal four; it equals, maybe, 3-and-a-half. And you know, the more he insists it equals three-and-a-half, the more sure of this truth he becomes, until, dammit, he's got half the bar thinking two plus two equals three-and-a-half, such is the power of his certainty. And that missing half is dangerous, sinister, unpatriotic, menacing. Before long, he's got the other drunk people around him all worked up. How did we ever believe two-plus-two equals four?!! Who told us that? Who tricked us into believing that shit? We were lied to! We are really pissed off!
Meanwhile, at the other end of the bar sits another group of people, watching and listening with a growing sense of wonder at the ability of this blowhard to persuade people of things that are patently untrue. Wow, they think, we know this guy's a fucking idiot, so what's up with all of those other people acting like he's some sort of oracle? I've heard of beer goggles. What's this, "beer hearing-aids?" Oh, well. Ignore him. He's just that big fat drunk guy at the end of the bar.
Years later, the guy turns up again. Wonder turns to astonishment. The big fat drunk guy at the end of the bar is now some sort of celebrity! He's got his own radio show! He's got millions of people hanging on his every word! You hear him speak, and he sounds just like the big fat drunk guy at the end of the bar from years before - obnoxious, loud, racist, sexist. But now he seems drunker, more unhinged, puffed up and full of himself. And he is everywhere! On the airwaves, on billboards, in newspapers. It's unimaginable! This blowhard's opinion matters! To millions of people! Has everyone gone mad? How can anyone take this guy seriously?
Even his personal life makes news! His divorces, his re-marriages, his other divorces, his drug addiction - he's a national figure. By God, he's got people's attention now! And he is loving the limelight. Milking it for all it's worth. And people still seem to love his paranoid, nonsensical rants. Now, two-plus-two equals whatever he damn well says it equals, and anyone who believes otherwise is unpatriotic and a danger to our democracy!
Finally, amazement turns to horror - horror that begins to border on the comical. It's too crazy, too absurd. In the wake of a Democratic victory for president, the big fat drunk guy at the end of the bar becomes the voice of the opposition! The go-to guy for an entire political party! Right-wing politicians are falling all over themselves to curry his favor and get his stamp of approval! You've never seen such fawning, sycophantic behavior. And the guy still sounds like the ignorant, racist loudmouth you heard all those years ago.
But no longer are just other drunk people in the bar hanging on his every word, but literally half the nation! What on earth is going on? Can this really be happening? Is public opinion and government policy really being shaped by this loud-mouthed pig?
But the best part is yet to come. Remember that cheerleader in high school who was so popular? You remember her. Not a brain in her head, but, man, she was hot. She had this way of winking at boys that practically made them come in their pants. And what a bitch! She would cut apart anyone who crossed her, and never stop smiling. People started calling her "The Piranha." Well, this insecure, fat kid had a real thing for her, and she knew it. Poor guy. She would lead him on, make him think he was someone special and then humiliate him in front of her friends. She was brutal.
Well, a funny thing happened. This dippy cheerleader went into politics and made a whole career out of smiling and winking and destroying anyone who got in her way.
And somehow she became a big deal, too! She became a governor! She became a vice-presidential candidate!! She still smiles and winks and says some of the craziest, stupidest shit ever heard in national politics, but there is no denying her charisma. Star power, man! Give the people what they want.
Now, she and the big fat drunk guy at the end of the bar are practically joined at the hip. She has her own TV show! Like the big fat drunk guy, she has millions of followers! Together, they are shaping the views, opinions and policies of an entire nation! They have unbelievable power and influence.
And those who knew them way back when shake their heads in disbelief.
Is this what we've come to? America - home of Jefferson, Lincoln, Roosevelt, and, of course, Martin Luther King, Jr., whose courage, wisdom and eloquence inspired the world; home to the most revered, most enduring constitution ever written - is in the thrall of that big fat drunk guy at the end of the bar and that ditzy cheerleader? And, I swear, there's hardly a brain cell between the two of them! Only fierce ambition, charisma, and an uncanny ability to hold people spellbound, to lie without shame, to con, to inflame, and to prey on people's ignorance and fear.
What a country!
For more from this writer, please visit: http://bareleft.blogspot.com