With the Supreme Court decision opening the financial floodgates of corporate cash on our American electoral system, let's imagine our country fifteen years from now. Here is a snippet of a news article from that time...
Breaking News Article from the AT&T-Verizon Times:
January 24, 2025.
Citigroup Washington DC - Today, the GM-Ford-Chevrolet Senate voted 100 - 0 on a Constitutional amendment changing the preamble to the Constitution to reflect, what WellPoint Senator Mitch McMollins (R) claims is a "better fit for IBM baseball, GE apple pie, and the Walmart American way!"
The new Preamble, which will be sent to the "states" for ratification, will now read:
We the corporations of the United States, in order to form a more perfect profit, establish acquisitions, insure unlimited domestic merges, limit consumer lawsuits, promote corporate bailout Welfare, and secure the blessings of financial advancement to ourselves and to our future shareholders, do ordain and establishing the Constitution for the United Corporations of America.
The senator from GlaxoSmithKline, Ben Billings (R), who proposed the original rewording of the preamble, couldn't have been more happier, and not at all surprised, by the outcome. "We've worked hard in this country to ensure that all corporations are treated fairly. It's time that the preamble shows that."
It is assumed that the "state legislators", all of which are owned entirely by corporations, will rapidly approve the amendment and change the Constitution to fall in line with the rest of the document, which guarantees rights of corporation the freedom to merge, the right to lie about their products under the First Amendment guarantee of free speech, and the ability for store employees to carry firearms at all times.
A raucous cheer was heard in the Senate chambers after the totally unanimous vote was announced, the 175th unanimous vote of the year.
ExxonMobil Senator Gil Gabberbouch (R) also applauded the development. "This gives guidance to the Bank of America Supreme Court in deciding all cases in our favor. We support big government, as long as it supports bringing more and more money into our coffers." Several nodding senators smiled behind him, one saying "ka-ching!".
According to the latest Fox-CBSNBCABC poll, 100% of citizens support this change.
"I think it's time that we turn over the last remaining outdated part of our government," said home maker Susie Sally of UnitedHealth Group, "I look forward to reading about more corporate profits! It makes my family so warm to think of it."