Oh yes, you read that right. Us pooties iz really, truly, royally pissed off. And we're not going to take this lying down (our favorite position, under normal circumstances, but dis is WAR.)
I'm Cookie, the Preznit of the PCLU (Pootie Civil Liberties Union).
I was perusing the Top Comments diary on Monday and was SHOCKED to see this:
Top Mojo (cskendrick/sardonyx-style) excluding search-identifiable tip jars, first diary comments, Cheers and Jeers, and various pooties
"Various pooties"??? What's that supposed to mean? Calico pootie pics are excluded? Or tuxedo pootie pics are no longer welcome? Well, I figured my post-New Year's catnip hangover might have affected my reading ability, so I calmed down and went back to sleep.
But then came Tuesday. Oh noes! My worst fears were confirmed. The Top Comments diary said this:
Top 30 Comments excluding tip jars, first comments and stuff
"AND STUFF"??? Excuse me? Now us pooties are categorized as "AND STUFF?" Have the anti-pootie trolls taken over our beloved Daily Kos?
Haz you all forgotten that us pooties were extolled in Vanity Fair as the epitome of da cute (and woozles wasn't even mentioned. LMAO!) Hell, we put this place on the map!
And now.........we can't even get on the Top Comments list!
I called an emergency meeting of the #sekritarmy
Our first question was, "Who could have given the order for such a dastardly deed? Who has the power to OPPRESS Daily Kos pooties?"
Naturally our thoughts immediately turned to:
Some of the pooties were quick to jump to conclusions....
They plotted a sudden attack:
But saner minds prevailed. I reminded da pooties that Markos LOVES pootie diaries. Srsly.
But...aha!...there is an unknown factor, the Dark Overlord of Daily Kos. Is he a pootie lover? Or did he issue the order to IGNORE OUR MOJO? We put the Dark Overlord under immediate 24-hour surveillance:
Da pooties wuz SO upset at their missing mojo:
So what recourse do we have to correct the terrible injustice done to the pooties and the pootie people? ?
Some of the younger members are hotheads....
A few wanted to take hostages until our demands are met:
But for now, we iz just demanding our MOJO!
Any pooties willing to go on strike with us? We can't take this insult lying down! Woozles, birdies and other critters, will you support our cause?
One last note to the mojo thieves, whoever you are. Remember this: