Yes, I'm going to get heckled. I may be called troll...but that doesn't bother me. I know who I am and why I support progressive causes and why I've given time, money and parts of my career to the Democratic Party...
But I will defend my actions down below the fold.
I was excited about Obama, even when he was just a Senate candidate. I had high hopes for an African American constitutional law professor given I was working for a senior African American long serving Member of Congress who is also an attorney. My friends went work for Obama in the Senate office. And when my Member of Congress encouraged me to go law school after five years of service, I had high hopes, even after witnessing Bush v. Gore play out first hand, seeing Grutter v. Bollinger decided, surviving 9-11 and anthrax...the Beltway sniper. I've worked for Gore, for Dean, for state and local candidates. I've raised tens of thousands of dollars for state PAC's to elect better and more Democrats.
When I got to law school I went and sat on the side of the road in the red state I was in with a John Kerry sign and waved and the folks who honked and flicked me off.
And when in my third year I woke up and read that Obama had formed an exploratory committee I donated $25 immediately, before noon on the east coast, knowing I was contributing to my law school debt, but hoping it was for a greater good.
I've always been far left. I want change and equality and I want it yesterday.
I hate the education, poverty, housing, access to transportation, job, health care, and judicial statistical disparities between the races.
But today I can't support this President and these political leaders without holding my nose, without hating myself for supporting people who have compromised away our future, our shared goals and dreams for a better tomorrow.
Those who took a public option off the table.
Those who recruited blue dogs to create this terrible gridlocked majority and who run to Chicago to run for Mayor when the going gets tough. You can't tell me Rahm didn't know this was coming.
They who have failed to close Guantanamo.
Those who bailed out our most corrupt bankers and mortgage companies and who have failed to prosecute them for their financial frauds.
Those who have abandoned our GLBT friends and relatives claiming they favor Legislative reforms over Judicial decrees about the meaning of Constitutional equality.
I can't do it anymore.
I can't even go to this Stewart-Colbert rally this weekend without wearing a T-shirt heckling moderates...for incremental change is not the radical changes that our country and our people need.
Somewhere along the line, the Democratic Party has lost it's way, it's message, it's base.
Last night in DC, Social Distortion played. The lead singer, Mike Ness, ridiculed those who trust in government. As a government attorney I winced.
This morning I read Chris Hedges piece on Liberal Opportunism and saw this quote:
The liberal class, whether in universities, the press or the Democratic Party, insists on clinging to its privileges and comforts even if this forces it to serve as an apologist for the expanding cruelty and exploitation carried out by the corporate state.
http://www.truthdig.com/...
And that statement got me thinking about myself. And how I've settled into an attorney position working for the feds...to better my country...to pay back my student loans...to survive off the teat of the corporate state.
Frank Turner, who opened for Social Distortion last night sings these lyrics:
Well I guess I should confess that I am starting to get old
All the latest music fads all passed me by and left me cold
All the kids are talking slang I won't pretend to understand
All my friends are getting married, mortgages and pension plans
And it's obvious my angry adolescent days are done
And I'm happy and I'm settled in the person I've become
But that doesn't mean I'm settled up and sitting out the game
Time may change a lot but some things may stay the same
And I won't sit down
And I won't shut up
And most of all I will not grow up
And I won't sit down
And I won't shut up
And most of all I yeah I won't grow up
Oh maturity's a wrapped up package deal so it seems
And ditching teenage fantasy means ditching all your dreams
All your friends and peers and family solemnly tell you you will
Have to grow up be an adult yeah be bored and unfulfilled
Oh when no ones yet explained to me exactly what's so great
About slaving 50 years away on something that you hate,
About meekly shuffling down the path of mediocrity
Well if that's your road then take it but it's not the road for me
And I won't sit down
And I won't shut up
And most of all I will not grow up
And I won't sit down
And I won't shut up
And most of all I yeah I won't grow up
And I won't sit down
And I won't shut up
And most of all I will not grow up
And if all you ever do with your life
Is just photosynthesize
Then you deserve every hour of these sleepless nights
That you waste wondering when you're gonna die
Now I'll play and you sing
The perfect way for the evening to begin
Now I'll play and you sing
The perfect way for the evening to begin
And I won't sit down
And I won't shut up
And most of all yeah I won't grow up
And I won't sit down
And I won't shut up
And most of all I will not grow up
And I won't sit down
And I won't shut up
And most of all I will not grow up
And it made me wonder...am I partly to blame? Have I settled into mediocrity and wage slavery? Am I really making a difference?
So I'm sorry. I can't support Nancy and Harry and Obama. I want more progressive change. I want it yesterday. I wanted it from a near super majority and I didn't get it.
This is not an "I want my pony" diary.
This is not a GBCW diary.
This is an I want a better country diary. And these guys aren't going to be the ones to help me make it happen.
We need a younger generation of Democrats in office.
We need Democrats who don't care how or in what branch positive changes in policy, in precedent, in practice come from, just that they come.
We need jobs and high speed rail and water treatment plants and combined sewer overflows and desalination plants for the West and modern bridges, schools, hospitals...subways and light rail. We need massive investments in these things...not patchwork pieces of stimulus dollars that fix a few potholes and fatten contractors pockets.
We need a serious assessment of capitalism and whether it's a viable economic model, not bailouts of financiers who failed at the very essence of the capitalism and the gambles they made.
We need our future back. And these political leaders are not the ones who will do these much needed things.
I know its GOTV time...but sometimes you lose a battle to win a war.
I'll be writing myself in, rather than vote for Barbara Mikulski and Chris Van Hollen. Martin O'Malley may yet get my vote, but MD is a safe state, and I can afford a protest vote.
You folks have to decide what you'll do with yours...but what you really need to be asking yourself, because we know what's going to happen next week, the writing is pretty much on the wall, is where are we going as a party and as a nation, in 2012.
Sorry to be such a downer...it's been a rough few weeks: personally, morally, spiritually, and politically.
And you can see from my comment history and diaries that I've taken a few weeks off...I was getting a lot of troll accusations...so I was really trying to turn over a new leaf and be more positive...I guess it's just not in me.
So I'll see you on the other side...I'm going to bed early...I'll check back with you all later and I'll be in the comments in the days to come.