I apologize for taking so long to fully understand this, but there's still time.
The key to saving our democracy, winning this election, ending terrorism and regaining our moral standing in the world is Equality.
As your president, I must be willing to stop America's enemies without regard to race, religion or national origin.
On 9-11, nearly 3 thousand Americans died at the hands of foreign terrorists, and we universally condemn them. Thank goodness almost all of them are dead. We likewise condemn and react in horror to anyone who expresses support or nostalgia for them or what they've done.
But our nation has a far more dangerous enemy, responsible for the deaths of 3 hundred thousand Americans and, far from being vanquished, they have been revitalized throughout my presidency. I would be violating my oath to protect this country and our Constitution if I continued to ignore this threat.
Like Al Qaeda, these enemies of the US have their own flag, and fortunately it's easy to spot them. Their flag means: "If you say the US Constitution now guarantees equal treatment to the colored, then I won't be an American anymore. I'm taking down my American flag, renouncing my citizenship, raising this flag instead, and I'm ready to fight and kill any American who claims my home is still on United States soil." That's how 300,000 Americans died, and the wounds are still very real.
Now, I realize today some Confederate flags are meant to be ornamental - that some folks, who may insist flying that flag is about Remembering History, may also insist they don't know it's the flag of the deadliest enemy of the US in History. While that seems dishonest on its face, we'd like to give flag flyers the benefit of the doubt.
So come to your polling place on Tuesday, turn in all your enemy flags, and bring one of your black neighbors to sign an affidavit we have prepared that confirms they've never seen your flags as intimidation, an implicit "whites only" sign for your neighborhood, or support for segregation or other unAmerican values.
Of course, if you don't have even a single black neighbor, you are shit out of luck. It's safe to say your flag has been helping to enforce segregation, publicly intimidating blacks, and signaling whites like any "decorative" noose or Klan terrorist's hood. This Tuesday we're only allowing real Americans to vote. You may vote in any Confederate election you like.
Come down off your roof. We've already got photos of your enemy combatant flag with your address on Google Maps. Look up and smile. You won't be handed a ballot on Tuesday. The likelihood that your ballot will be counted is the same as for U.S citizens like Fort Hood's Nidal Malik Hasan, Times Square's Faisal Shahzad, and anyone who openly supports them. Being white or calling yourself a Christian will no longer exempt you, or excuse your contempt for this country's values. That is the meaning of Equality.
In the spirit of fairness and equality, anyone raising a nostalgic Al Qaeda flag will receive the same treatment, of course. My good friend Joe Lieberman has already crafted a bill to revoke the citizenship of these kinds of publicly self-acknowledged enemies. If you don't want to be deported, get ready to apply for a green card.
I have vowed to defend this country and its Constitution against all enemies, foreign and domestic. The greatest threat to the US -- especially during this election and during my presidency -- is clearly a domestic insurgency. Confederate values aren't just undermining this election, or me. They're not just still challenging the 14th Amendment they killed so many Americans trying to revoke 150 years ago. They've warped our whole government and have us killing innocent colored folks all over the world.
If I failed to stand up against these powerful enemies because they're white, or because they're technically citizens -- even as they mock our flag and undermine our elections -- what kind of president would I be?