I'm not sure what else I can say that the title already hasn't.
I'm feeling frustrated, upset, and frankly more than a little disgusted with the general populace of the country in which I live right now. The results that I've seen before I had to stop watching because I was working myself up to tears of impotent rage are, in a way for me, even more disappointing and depressing as the election results back in 2004 (let's not even talk about 2000... I wasn't old enough to vote in that one anyway...). The reason I say this is because after the 2008 election, I started to allow a glimmer of hope to live within me that the power of reason may finally be overcoming the power of fear. The returns that I've seen thus far have dashed that guttering flame.
The American people have spoken, and their message is that obstructionist politics, refusal to play by the rules, sociopathic personalities, and semi-literacy are the qualities that they are looking for in elected officials. They have sent the message that anti-intellectualism, emotional rather than rational thinking, the politics of fear and anger, and a complete lack of compassion for anyone other than numero uno are their ideal personality traits for the people they want to be in charge.
I did what I could this year, just like I did back in 2008. I phone banked, I raised consciousness, I engaged in "uncomfortable conversations" with friends and family. But it didn't do any good. Nothing I did or said made any real difference. I suppose, living in Missouri, that was kind of a foregone conclusion, but I've never really felt it quite so keenly as I do tonight.
And why would anything I do or say make a difference? We live in an era of soundbites, where talking heads do all the thinking for people. They no longer need to actually engage their minds and think critically or rationally about anything... and why would they want to? It's much easier and more comfortable to let the "expert" on Fox News tell them what to think than to actually do a mite of research themselves and come up with their own valid opinion. So when I come to them and try to shake them out of their complacency, why wouldn't they react hostilely and completely ignore everything I have to say? I'm bringing discomfort into their lives, and that is something that isn't tolerable in our modern American culture. Comfort above all else.
So what can I really do? If the people refuse to open their eyes, how can any amount of metaphorical prying at the eyelids do a damned bit of good?
My idealism has once again been taken out behind a dumpster and brutally violated in unspeakable ways... and I'm not sure if it's going to recover this time...
Update
I want to thank everyone who had kind words of encouragement and, like it or not, perspective for me tonight. I don't have time right now to respond individually to the massive swell of supportive commenters who appeared as if out of nowhere (I was honestly not expecting more than 5 or 6 people to even read this thing...), but I want you all to know that I appreciate your words and your wisdom.
I haven't really written many diaries on this site because I'm generally really self-conscious, and I realize that, despite my well-rounded education, I am in no way the wisest person on this site, and would venture that I don't even break the Top 100, and whatever I have to say could generally be said on this site much better by someone else. But I do sometimes find myself writing a diary on here, and when I do it's generally nothing special, like tonight's was.
Despite all that, I have gotten a lot of support from most of the people who commented tonight, and I want you all to know how much I appreciate that. I am already feeling quite a bit better, and I think I'll even manage to sleep tonight after all. And I will be back in this fight. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon... and for the rest of my life.
Thank you all.