I have tickets to a Brooklyn Trolley Dodgers game, folks, so I'll make this short and sweet: President Roosevelt has not kept the promises he made in 1932, and therefore I reluctantly submit he must be challenged for the Democratic nomination in 1936. We need a real leader - someone who will stand up to the bankers and shady Wall Street capitalists instead of chumming around with them at high society soirees while America goes hungry. While our people strive, toil, and even beg for food, he puffs on that fancy cigarette holder and peers down his condescending, patrician nose at us. The man is obviously indifferent to the nation's problems, and is clearly out of touch. Why, he barely gets out of his chair!
Two years after his election - TWO YEARS, people - and we are still in the midst of Depression, and all he has done is given a pittance to a few percent of the population. His so-called "employment" programs only employ a tiny fraction of Americans, and the assistance payments his administration has created wouldn't be enough to feed a dog. Oh, and guess who he has consulted in formulating these programs? That's right - the same bankers, industrialists, and businessmen who created our poverty in the first place. "New Deal" indeed!
I thought Roosevelt would be different, but clearly his presidency is nothing more than an attempt to pacify us into eating the same old dirt from his rich financiers. The man is a chameleon - a silk-tied scion of Old Money capitalism who exploited the suffering of the poor and downtrodden to obtain office, only to betray and stomp on everyone who supported him! His programs are an insult, a veritable declaration of war on the Common Man! Compare these paltry jokes with the comprehensive programs being implemented in Italy, Germany, and elsewhere, where bold leaders are forging a new future for the average working man.
Where has President Roosevelt been on these issues while the Depression drags on, and on, and on? It's like he doesn't care, or is even colluding with the people who created the Depression in the first place! Sure, he gets on the radio every once in a while and dishes out a lot of rhetoric - fear this, four freedoms that, blah blah blah - but where is the substance? Where is the courage? This is the best he can produce with the most progressive Congress and open-minded electorate in history? A few non-union jobs for Okies to pour concrete in the wilderness? What kind of Rubes does he take us for?
Now, it is obvious this man is not destined for a second term. The American people spoke loud and clear in 1932, and their message was NOT "We want more capitalism"! But that's what this man has delivered to us, ladies and gentlemen - he forces labor unions to cut sub-par deals with their bosses, and fritters away money on boondoggle projects out in the middle of nowhere when there are so many hungry Americans right here in our towns and cities.
Furthermore, I am strongly distrustful of this President's claims to support peace. If you ask me, he is far too chummy with the British, and has a very disrespectful attitude toward Italy and Germany - yes, that's right, the very same countries whose progress toward economic justice is leaving his administration in the dust! America would do better to stop being so cozy with the British, whose imperial capitalist disease we've inherited, and instead have a warmer relationship with the aforementioned states. In particular, Germany - whose people are just now beginning to emerge from the poverty inflicted on them by insidious London bankers after the Great War. Given our present circumstances, I say Germany and America would be natural allies.
But good luck explaining that to this President - Lord Roosevelt, sitting in his chair all day like some sort of oriental prince, petting his dog that could feed an entire family for days. I have personally lost patience with this president's endless string of capitulations and dog-and-pony shows pretending to care for the American people. Instead of redistributing the wealth that has been accumulated, he has simply tried to pacify us with a handful of jobs and assistance programs that barely help the most desperate among us.
Nationalization of the banking industry? No! Free health care? No! Free college education? No! Guaranteed jobs? No! Guaranteed housing? No! Civil rights for the American negro? No! Failure, after failure, after failure. Cave, after cave, after cave. We should rename him President Failure Delano Roosevelt, Capitulator-in-Chief, the best Republican we've ever put in office. Or perhaps we should call him Herbert Hoover Jr. - he has certainly done nothing to change the system Hoover supported: Capitalism still stomps on the working man every single day while he twiddles his thumbs and sings "Happy Days Are Here Again."
Well, maybe they're happy days for Mr. Roosevelt and his banker buddies, as the good Father Coughlin says in his rousing radio broadcasts, but regular Americans are fed up. The FDR administration is obviously not serious, and its ridiculous compromise programs will never amount to anything. So I say it's time to nominate a new leader - a strong leader who uses the bully pulpit instead of sitting in his chair droning on and on about nothing over the radio. Lord, I am so sick of this man's empty rhetoric, cowardly capitulations, and snooty attitude! Huey Long in '36!