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I am the same age (58) my dad was when my mom died.
The significance? My husband died this June.
When your loved one first dies the pain is so raw that it consumes you, all you have energy for is breathing past the pain (when you're not writhing from it). Somewhere between three and five months you've learned how to treat the pain, it's still ever-present but more in the background (except when it clobbers you all over again).
THAT's when you hear the echoes.......
I was 29 when my mother died.
Now, 29 years later my husband has died.
When my father died 14 years ago my husband was there to comfort me.
Now I am alone to face this.
I was alone and lost for two years after my mother died.
I feel so lost, how long will I be lost?
The echoes, the echoes, the echoes. They just keep piling up, sometimes I can't even distinguish them; they become a cacaphony. Every loss I've had in my life, each fear associated with each loss, they present themselves to me for examination.
It feels SO cruel. I had to suffer the greatest loss of my life and NOW, when I feel least able, I have to face echoes, and echoes, and fears, and fears??
They taunt me:
"How strong are you?"
"How much have you learned from life so far?"
"Can you remember the good things about your husband and not weep?"
"Can you remember his strengths without condemning yourself as inadequate?"
"Can you build on the lessons from your mother's death?"
"Can you learn from your father's mistake and not rush into an ill-fated marriage just to keep from being lonely?"
"Will you be like your mother and father or will you ask for help when you need it?"
"Will you be like you were after your mother died or will you be kind to yourself?"
Bereavement books tell me that the death of a loved one may reverbrate back to the deaths of other loved ones from your past. I know it has for me.