Are you tired of "birthers"? Are you as tired of these kind of people as I am?
Or do you find yourself wondering "where is that birth certificate? Why can't we see it? Why doesn't Obama just pull it out and show it and shut them up?"
I mean, really, I do believe that Obama is an American citizen. Or maybe we've decided to outsource the presidency to Kenya.
Either way, I would love to shut Orly Taitz up once and for all.
So, do you ever wonder if that birth certificate exists?
Was Obama actually cloned in Switzerland?
Is he actually a closet African, a crypto Islamist, a shill for the black liberal take-away-the-power-from-the-whites movement? Is he a Manchurian candidate acting for shadowy interests getting ready to steal the soul of the United States and sell it to the gnomes of Zürich?
I really want to know. If for no other reason than to shut up these shrill purple–haired conspiracy freaks whose signs I never want to see again.
Sure, it's capitulating to the nattering nabobs of negativism, to quote a phrase from one of our lesser-known political luminaries, but I would seriously love to see the piece of paper. Just so I could make a copy and wave it in these "true believers'" faces.
I mean, we have so many conspiracy theories; we even have some that are so obviously true that we can't quote them on the site, because there's people that are too sensitive. I mean, little green men from Mars (and why are they green, anyway? And what happened to bug-eyed monsters, also known as BEMs? I have a lot of questions.) Might have stolen his birth certificate as part of their conspiracy to take over Earth; how will we ever know if we don't see it?
So yes, I do want to see the piece of paper. Perhaps just for some personal satisfaction, just to see some heads explode. But it's also possible that I may have a lingering doubt. I mean, socratically, do you really know? Can you say that you 100% believe?
Jesus said "Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed."
Well, I have to admit it. I want to see it. Because it seems to me that if it's gone on this long maybe there is some truth to what those birthers say, that Obama is a radical plant, the Manchurian candidate, "the one" who will destroy our Constitution.
I know, I know. And I am very sure that he is an American citizen, and that Obama's birth certificate does exist somewhere in the bowels of a building in Hawaii. But I wonder at the reluctance of "his people" to just bring it out already. Are they saving it for his reelection campaign? For some pivotal moment when he can triumphantly wave the piece of paper and refudiate all those foaming, screaming, polyester-leisure-suit "real citizens", who will then have to crawl back to their holes?
Oh, don't worry; I'm a real 'Murrican, I believe everything they say, and if they say that good times are just round the corner, that we're in Afghanistan for a better reason than enriching the arms companies, that we're making progress in the GWOT (global war on terror, in case you're Rip van Winkle and haven't yet learned about the newest profit-making venture for our only recession-proof industries) I believe them, I really do. And I believe that the president has a birth certificate buried somewhere.
I just want the satisfaction of making a copy and shoving it in a birther's face. It's too late for Christmas; how about a gift for Epiphany? That's when they used to bring gifts, you know, back in the old country, where I was born, even though I am an American citizen, and even though when I was in the United States Army I had a hard time getting a clearance because even though I had an American passport that said I was a citizen, the halfwits in the Army didn't believe me, or even their lying eyes.
And maybe it's true; maybe that even showing the real birth certificate wouldn't satisfy these nuts; maybe their truth is stronger than any lie we may make up.
But I would like to know.