Esby here, just back from the front lines at the War on Christmas, which of course was at the mall. The day? December 26th, because it's never too early to start. Our base camp was a Chick fil-A, but it was closed because it was Sunday, so we chose a Victoria's Secret because they had comfy couches. Shhh! Do you hear hear the drums of Kwanzaa? Is there a yarmulke under that ski cap?
I sent Jeremiah to see if there were atheists in the dressing rooms. There was screaming. I ran to support him in the heat of battle. I am sure it was a matzo grenade. Security came, surely to make arrests, but they nabbed the wrong guys. We were charged with lewd and lascivious conduct.
It is a sad day when the a police state enforces the War on Christmas. If you can't spend money in the name of Jesus, what's the point?
If we’re going to have gays in the military, I demand that there be heterosexuals at The New York Times.
—Ann Coulter
Oh Ann, you're 49, bitter and unmarried.
I mean, people already think that his show is real news, which is a problem.
—Gretchen Carlson on Fox and Friends about Jon Stewart.
I love you, Irony.
Passing a major arms agreement in lame duck is outrageous. Dems trying to jam through a liberal agenda before conservatives come to town.
—Sen. Jim Demint (R, SC)
Oh yeah, trying to reduce a Russia's nukes is downtight communist! Can you imagine if Ronald Reagan had...oh wait.
Arab leaders in the region rightly fear a nuclear-armed Iran. We suspected this before, but now we know for sure because of leaked diplomatic cables.
—Foreign policy expert Sarah Palin, in an op-ed in USA Today.
Palin previously called the aforementioned wikileaks cables treasonous.
I pressed an F instead of a P and people freaked out.
—Grammar expert Sarah Palin, on her previous use of "refudiate."
Palin also said the word on TV. "F" is near the "p" in her brain, apparently. What a pucking foor excuse.
It's a big snow, definitely, but the world is not coming to an end.
—Michael Drewniak, a spokesman for Gov. Chris Christie (R, NJ).
Christie and Lt Gov. Kim Guadagno are both out of state, leaving state Senate President Steve Sweeney, a Democrat, to deal with more than two feet of snow in parts of the state.
I love you, Mitt Romney. I love all of you guys. Y'all can come and bring me some water.
—Jimmy McMillan, formerly of the Rent is Too Dam High Party,
McMillan announced last week he is running for President on the Republican ticket.
I don’t think congressmen should get pensions or cushy health care plans.
—Rep. Andy Harris (R, MD), who turned down his Congressional benefits.
Of 80 incoming Republican freshman, Think Progress could only find five who turned down government funded healthcare for themselves.
How selfish can he be using our money for stupid things like bringing his dog on a private plan while our young men are dying, not allowed to pray in the battle field etc.
—Anonymous email to Newshounds, thinking they were Fox News, about Obama bringing Bo on Airforce One.
Apparently she doesn't know about Barney and Spot getting all those free rides from George W. Bush on the taxpayer's dime.
During the summer of 2008, with the McCain candidacy already looking doomed, a group of us in Los Angeles were debating the nature of the Democratic champion: Chance the Gardener from Being There or the Manchurian Candidate? Empty suit, talking parrot — or brilliant manipulator of the public’s emotions?
—The Corner's Michael Welsh.
I guess he never watched either film.
I suspect he feels a bit like he went to Costco, bought one of those big industrial size jars of honey, open it, poured it over his head and then went to sit on a libertarian anthill.
—The Corner's Jonah Goldberg on Christopher Beam's essay on why Americans aren't libertarian.
Goldberg's response to an analysis of majority rejection of a small, fringe political group is that we'll hear from..a small, fringe political group.
I wanted to be buried in the United States.
—Terminally ill Manual Lara Lopez, who this week after 20 years as a legal resident of the US, was pronounced a US citizen.
Quote the Ravin', a weekly roundup of quotes from around the internets, comes out every Tuesday around lunchtime.