Disclosure: I grew up in Rome Ga and know how to laugh at myself.
Hillbilly Vasectomy
Billy Bob and Norma Rae decided that they’d had enough children. The eight of them could no longer fit in the bed together. Norma Rae laid down the law, "Billy Bob, I done heard ‘bout a new procedure called a vasectomy. Stops us from havin’ anymore yunguns. Now, I ‘spect you to git on down to the Doc’s office an’ talk to him ‘bout it!"
The rest of the story over the fold:
Billy Bob was pretty tired and realizes that Norma Rae was probably right. Them kids were getting bigger and space in the bed was runnin’ out. So, off to the Doc he went.
After querying the Doctor, Billy Bob realizes that there’s not enough money in the till to pay for the procedure the doctor just described. Hell, they could hardly make the trailer payments. Dismayed, Billy Bob explained the dilemma and the Doc answered, "Well Billy Bob, I know of another technique that might fit your budget. All you do is take a cherry bomb, light it, place it a coke can, count to ten and then throw it."
Billy Bob replies, " Now Doc, I know I ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed but I didn’t just fall off the stump yestiddy. Now how in the hell is that going to work?" Even though the Doc assured him that this abbreviated procedure would be effective, Billy Bob just shook his head and shuffled on home to share the bad news with Norma Rae. Norma would have none of it and insisted that Billy Bob do SOMETHING. Otherwise, "Cut Off" would be more than a reference to the discontinued thrice-a-week trailer quaking romps in the bedroom.
Billy Bob resigned himself to attempting the Doc’s discounted recommendation and drove across the Tennessee state line to purchase the fire-work. While he was there he went ahead and got a can of coke along with the cherry bomb. Returning to his truck, Billy Bob decided to get this thing over with and quickly downed the soft drink, damn, he was thirsty anyhow.
Holding the empty coke can high, he placed the cherry bomb on the opening, lit the fuse and dropped it into the can. He began to count: One...Two...Three...Four...Five...and with the fingers of his left hand fully extended at the five count, he placed the loaded coke can between his legs, raised his right hand and continued: Six...Seven...Eight.............
This procedure is effective in Kentucky, Mississippi, West Virginia, Alabama, Tennessee, North & South Carolina, Louisiana, Arkansas, Texas & some parts of Texas.