Thanks to Bink's diary of earlier, many of you already know the sad saga of Colorado Springs.
Due to a combination of civic intransigence and the hand-cuffing effects of TABOR, the City finds itself in tough times, slashing all kinds of social services in a bid to stay afloat financially. Everything, it seems, but admit the need for additional revenue and reverse a decade's worth of tax cuts and line-holding.
For whatever reason, it caught my imagination. So with profound apologies to Theodore Geisel and Shel Silverstein, to whose achievements I make no pretense of aspiring, I humbly offer this little piece of doggerel: "An Ode to Colorado Springs, or, Norquist's Baby."
It’s just one of those things
In Colorado Springs
The city is falling apart.
They woke up today,
Full of dismay,
To garbage-strewn fields in the park.
‘Twas some years ago
Saw the ol’ right wing grow
Angry, and righteous they marched
"The Budget’s the rub!"
(Waving bags full of tea)
"Come along, follow me!
"We’ll drown this whole lot in the tub!"
Old Grover, he grinned
To be sure, ‘twas a win.
"Let the Government shrinking begin!"
And it did.
The mil rate stayed flat,
The city in black,
Boats riding the tide,
Bubble growing in size,
The horizon seemed endlessly blue.
Each year little retreats
Smug posts on their re-tweets
On the surface the doctrine seemed true.
As the naughts rolled along,
They crowed out their song:
"We have us a winner!
"Free lunch, lavish dinner
"Norquist, we owe it to you!"
Then,
POP!
That was that.
The bubble went flat.
And suddenly, revenue too.
But not costs.
No, they didn’t.
Roads still must be laid
Clerks and teachers get paid
As well as the boys in the Blue.
The plans came undone
As they ran out of funds,
It looks to have started a fight:
You’ll pay for it later
If you enact TABOR,
You’ll be out of the money for lights.