Keith Olbermann's diary (and accompanying Special Comment) brought out a flurry of response from the Daily Kos community, from many who have been in a similar situation, whether with parents, children, or spouses.
And yet, in reflection this chilly February morning, my mind drifted...to those who will never have that opportunity.
Suppose you get married to the person of your dreams, and you take a car trip from your home state to another to visit family or friends. A truck crosses into your lane and hits your car head-on. Somehow, you come out of the accident relatively unscathed...but your loved one is critically injured. The ambulance rushes your spouse to the hospital...but when you arrive a short time later, you're forbidden entrance.
"But we're married!" you cry out. "Not in this state," is the response. You are forbidden to see your spouse, forbidden to make any decisions regarding care, forbidden even to say goodbye when your beloved slips the chains of earth and journeys on to the next Dimension.
Impossible, you say? Not if you're one of the millions of Americans whose only "crime" is to love and marry someone of the same gender, in one of the enlightened states that allows for marriage equality. A couple could be married in Iowa, but if they get in an accident in Missouri while heading down for Mardi Gras in Louisiana, they could be out of luck. And even if you go to a lawyer and get all the paperwork for medical directives for the both of you, there's no guarantee the hospital will recognize those directives.
My parents-in-law are both in extended nursing care, as I've mentioned; my father-in-law with severe dementia, my mother-in-law with gastrointestinal issues and now an infected pressure sore that will require surgery (both from years of being in a wheelchair). I am allowed to be involved in their care decisions (I've accompanied my MIL to her pre-surgical doctor's appointments) because, as the wife of their eldest son, I count as "family." When my own spouse underwent treatment for testicular cancer 2 years ago, I was allowed to stay with him in the pre-surgery center while the anesthesia took effect, and later join him in the recovery center while he came out of it, because of that little piece of paper that cost us about $35 back in 1991. But if my name was Robert instead of Roberta, or if I was married to a Marcia instead of a Mark, I could have been shut out of everything in many states, forced to wait on the outside as someone else made the decisions that should have been mine.
And this is why marriage equality matters, and why even as an almost 51-year-old straight female in an opposite marriage of 19 years I will continue to fight.
For those of you who say there are other issues more important, I ask you this: what is more important than love, and to be with the one you love at the time he/she needs you most? This is about health care at its core -- the ability to make health care choices for yourself, and the ability to choose who to make those decisions when you cannot.