Cross posted from Social Capitalism, where some images reside.
Even though I've given up ragging on Republicans for Lent, I can't resist this one. Today in the mail I got a "Republican Strategy Survey" from the Ronald Reagan Republican Center, Washington, DC, authorized by the National Republican Senatorial Committee, Sen. John Cormyn, Chairman.
I love the way the good senator reels in my response:
"Dear Thomas Marcinko,
"If you are registered to vote in the 4th district of Arizona [the Fightin' Fourth! I am!] and tend to identify yourself as a Republican or Republican-leaning voter [now as to that...], please answer and return this brief Republican Strategy Survey today.
"If you are not registered to vote as a Republican in the District indicated, please return your unmarked survey to me immediately. Thank you for your cooperation and prompt response."
(If you think I'm kidding, here it is; happy to post the whole thing if anybody asks.)
Well, I'm all about the obedience, especially from people who address me as if the stork just dropped me down my parents' chimney not more than an hour or so ago.
Sen. Cormyn advises me that this is, after all, a survey to help determine what Republicans should be doing to counter the Democrats' "deeply flawed policies." If I'm not a Republican, then I suppose it's none of my business.
Still, I couldn't help but take a gander at the questions, which Republicans (not me) are supposed to rate on a five-point scale: agree strongly, agree moderately, disagree moderately, disagree strongly, or uncertain.
A random sample of the questions:
- I do not believe our government should raise our taxes
- Democrats are catering to Big Labor and other liberal interests at my expense
- I do not support an energy plan that will cost American jobs and hurt our economy
- I believe frivolous lawsuits are driving up the cost of healthcare
- I believe cutting funding for our military compromises our troops
- I support a ban on human cloning
- There should be a Constitutional Amendment to prevent desecreation of the American flag
- English should be made the official language of the U.S.
Hmmm, I wonder what the correct answers are?
I'm also supposed to check off a box: "YES, these are my own personal views as a registered voter in the state of Arizona."
There's also an invitation to contribute in increments from $25 to $250, or at least enclose $7 "to help defray the cost of processing my survey," ya cheapskate. Plus a reminder that my first-class stamp "will help strengthen our Republican Party."
Aside from the fact that the Republicans obviously know where I live, I'm toying with writing, in the last space, "Other issues of importance to me include:" Oh, I don't know... How about: For the love of the God you claim to believe in, stop inciting the violence before someone gets killed.
(Which I did; see image.)
I wish that were as funny as Cormyn's letter.