Excerpts from a collection of poems penned by my now 14yo son and I as I was recovering from several cancer related surgeries during the last 4 years.
The collection comprises 135 poems and is still an ongoing project. It's purely for our own entertainment.
Much more fun than watching the idiot box.
Note: Just to correct a false impression on the part of some here, I am the male version of the species.
1. Highlephant
An elephant floated by in the sky
And waved down below to his mum
She asked "How did you get up so high?"
He replied "I filled my trunk with bubble gum."
2. Rebel
Meanwhile in the penguin cage
The keeper was out of his head
Cause all of the chicks were black and white
Except one who was yellow and red
3. SSSSSSS
I think Penny would be a good name for snakes
Since they are all just Heads and Tails
4. Naughty Hippo
A baby hippo threw his food on the floor
And drew on the walls with his crayons
His father said "Son, you’re about to receive
A hippopotamus hottamus bottomus."
5. Stand Aside
The tortoise of Galapagos
Lives for 200 years they say
So that should be plenty of time for him
To get out of everyone’s way
6. Bad Manners
Crabs are crabby
Lobsters are mobsters
The mussel can really hustle
Most clams are shams
In fact, most shellfish are selfish
Anenomes are your enemies
Coral is immoral
Otters are rotters
Most remoras are snorers
Truth is, most seals are heels
But......
A barracuda is ruder
7. Fishy
I looked through the porthole
Of my deep sea diving sub
But all that I could see
Was a fish that went glub glub
An hour later I looked once more
Where nothing saw I then
But the same old purple/yellow fish
Glub glubbing once again
8. Rudolph the Red Nose
The reindeer looked in the mirror
And noticed his nose was red
So he took some cold medicine
And went back to his bed
9. Picasso’s Dog
Cubist puppy
Barking ear
Eats through nose
Mouth can hear
Pablo never
Saw a dog
He thought his puppy
Was a frog
10. Back to the Ocean
They say that Blue whales used to live on land
But they decided to go back to the sea
Probably because they couldn’t find a parking space!
11. Kangarooster
A kangaroo hopped into the chicken coop
Where she dropped an egg into her pouch
When the egg hatched, guess what came out?
It had feathers, a tail, and loved vegemite sandwiches
12. What Can’t the Giraffe See?
From high above the ground
A giraffe can look around
At almost everything
But he must admit defeat
When it comes to his own feet
How very frustrating
13. The Truth about Dragons
The komodo dragon was pacing his cage
When suddenly he started to cry
"I tried to breathe fire, but I only sneezed,
And I have never been able to fly.
So what can I do but sit here and weep
What kind of a dragon am I?"
14. Excitement at the Petting Zoo
I really love the petting zoo
Where you can pet sheep, and goats
And chickens too.
But the best time I ever had at the petting zoo
Was when the alligator ate my little brother
(Hee hee hee hee...............)
15. Christmas on the Veldt
Rudolph the red-nosed rhino
Had a very shiny nose
But behind that nose
Were two giant horns
So the kids were very well-behaved.
16. Pandamonium
The giant panda lives on bamboo
One of life’s most peculiar statistics
So if you find you’ve invited a panda to tea
Don’t worry, he’ll just eat your chopsticks
17. Ingenuity
A cheeky little porcupine
Rolled himself in a tight little ball
And went to the costume party
As a light fixture in the hall
The plan was fine, it got him in,
But soon this scheme was done
When several of the other guests
Tried to turn him on