On Friday, I wrote a quick, stream-of-consciousness diary talking about my upcoming training run. It was filled with nervous energy, a lot of talk about my brother's situation (battling cancer) and other randomness.
The good news is, I made it through my run. I successfully managed a 20 mile course. It wasn't easy. I started out feeling injured, moved in to a ton of doubt, and then just plain exhaustion. If you want the full breakdown, you can see it on my Dailymile profile.
Taken on its own, my run was terrible. I felt terrible, I was exhausted, I was slow, etc etc. Fortunately, I was able to get some context and feel better about it later...
After my run, I came home and sat around all day. Obviously, I didn't have much left in the tank to do anything for the rest of the day. Sunday was pretty much the same. I was tired, still a little emotionally frustrated from a poor (in my mind) performance the day before, and aching in places I didn't know could ache.
I called various family members to wish them a Happy Easter. The conversation with my youngest brother really helped improve my mood.
I started running because it was a great way to help raise funds for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. The Team In Training Program has helped push me more than I thought possible. Two miles seemed like a long run 6 months ago and this weekend I made it through TWENTY! My brother's been a big source of motivation throughout the process.
We were talking about my run and how emotionally difficult and physically draining it was. He listened to me whine for a while and then offered up this little gem: "Yeah. Sounds like what radiation therapy is doing to me right now. Good thing you only have a long run once a week. I've got 5 more treatments next week. Thankfully that should be the end of it."
At that moment, I knew I had no reason to complain. I started this process voluntarily and I have the opportunity to stop at any time I choose. My brother, and the countless others that are suffering from the effects of cancer don't really have a choice. It's either endure treatments or die.
Who was I to complain that I didn't run as fast as I had hoped? Just getting to the finish line was an accomplishment that I needed to acknowledge. I didn't start this journey to run the fastest marathon time. I started this to raise money and awareness for an awesome organization. Today, I woke up still a little stiff and sore, but with a renewed sense of determination. Cancer still affects millions of people. We still don't have a cure for cancer, so my journey is still not complete. Despite my body's objections I went out for a quick 3 mile "recovery" run and felt great.
I'm still out there, helping to save lives, one mile at a time.
PS. If you would like to help me save lives, you don't have to do something crazy, like commit to running a marathon! (Wow, my marathon is in 3 weeks! YIKES!) Consider taking a small step and helping me meet my fundraising goal. Every dollar helps LLS come a bit closer to finding a cure for blood cancers.