As oil spills into the Gulf of Mexico at a rate threatening to surpass that of the 1989 Exxon Valdez spill, the US military has been called into action in an all-out effort to contain the damage.
Meanwhile, the people of Mexico continue spilling into the sovereign state of Arizona, necessitating the passage of crazy new laws and the formation of volunteer posses.
Coincidence?
Morning lineup:
Meet the Press: Secretary of State Hillary Clinton; Florida Gov. Charlie Crist (R); Secretary of Homeland Security Janet Napolitano; Secretary of the Interior Ken Salazar; Commandant of the US Coast Guard Adm. Thad Allen; Roundtable: Sen. Lamar Alexander (R-TN), Michigan Gov. Jennifer Granholm (D), Rep. Mike Pence (R-IN) and New Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson (D)
Face the Nation: Rep. Charlie Melancon (D-LA); Sen. Bill Nelson (D-FL); Former Rep. J.D. Hayworth (R-AZ); Sen. Mary Landrieu (D-LA).
This Week: BP America Chairman/President Lamar McKay; Secretary of Homeland Security Janet Napolitano; Secretary of the Interior Ken Salazar; Roundtable: Bill Maher (Real Time), Rev. Al Sharpton, Republican Strategist Matthew Dowd, Katrina vanden Heuvel (Nation) and George Will (Washington Post).
Fox News Sunday: Secretary of Homeland Security Janet Napolitano; Secretary of the Interior Ken Salazar; US Senate Candidate Marco Rubio (R-FL); Former Astronaut Sally Ride; Roundtable: Brit Hume (Fox News), Mara Liasson (NPR/FNC), Bill Kristol (Weekly Standard) and Juan Williams (NPR/FNC).
State of the Union: Secretary of Homeland Security Janet Napolitano; Secretary of the Interior Ken Salazar; Florida Gov. Charlie Crist (R); US Senate Candidate Marco Rubio (R-FL); Reliable Sources: Mark Leibovich (New York Times); Amy Argetsinger (Washington Post); American University Professor Jane Hall; David Zurawick (Baltimore Sun); Lola Ogunnaike (formerly of CNN).
The Chris Matthews Show: Andrea Mitchell (NBC News); Howard Fineman (Newsweek); Clarence Page (Chicago Tribune); Gloria Borger (CNN).
Fareed Zakaria GPS: Goldman Sachs Chairman/CEO Lloyd Blankfein.
Primetime viewing:
60 Minutes will feature: the first television interview with Conan O'Brien since he left The Tonight Show (preview); a report on a deep canal on the Mexican border with California where over 550 people - mostly illegal immigrants - have drowned (preview); and, Anderson Cooper's visit to the kitchen of chef Jose Andres, a pioneer in the field of molecular gastronomy (preview).
On Comedy Central:
Jon Stewart investigated Arizona's new racial profiling law.
The Daily Show
Monday: Author Jonathan Eig ("Get Capone")
Tuesday: Former First Lady/Author Rosalynn Carter ("Within Our Reach")
Wednesday: Jon Meachem (Newsweek)
Thursday: Chef/Author Mario Batali ("Molto Gusto")
And Stephen Colbert examined ChickenCare.
The Colbert Report
Monday: Chair of the Congressional Oversight Panel Elizabeth Warren
Tuesday: Author Mark "Doctor Bugs" Moffett ("Adventures Among Ants")
Wednesday: Author David Isay ("Mom")
Thursday: Author Stewart Brand ("Whole Earth Discipline")
In related news, former Rep. Tom Tancredo (R-CO) showed that he's in need of psychiatric care.
COLMES: Do you really believe – you know he was born in Hawaii right?
TANCREDO: I have absolutely no idea where he was born.
COLMES: You’ve seen he was born in Hawaii; he was in two Hawaiian newspapers within two days of his birth.
TANCREDO: Anybody can put an article in a newspaper. Just show me your birth certificate!
[...]
TANCREDO: Now they very well not want to show it because they want to propagate this whole thing that’s going on about birthers. ... They may be doing it for that reason; I don’t know why they don’t want anyone to see it. ... They want it propagated because you know –
COLMES: It makes your party look nuts!
TANCREDO: Yeah well maybe that’s why they don’t produce document, I don’t know.
But he isn't the only one with Obama Derangement Syndrome.
Gov. Rick Perry, U.S. Rep. Louie Gohmert, R-Tyler, and state Rep. Leo Berman also spoke, all delivering similar messages.
Berman told the crowd, "I believe that Barack Obama is God's punishment on us today, but in 2012, we are going to make Obama a one-term president."
And speaking of punishment, highly influential conservative thinker Sarah Palin took to Facebook to pontificate on the historical parallels in her password guesser's conviction.
My family and I are thankful that the jury thoroughly and carefully weighed the evidence and issued a just verdict. Besides the obvious invasion of privacy and security concerns surrounding this issue, many of us are concerned about the integrity of our country's political elections. America's elections depend upon fair competition. Violating the law, or simply invading someone's privacy for political gain, has long been repugnant to Americans' sense of fair play. As Watergate taught us, we rightfully reject illegally breaking into candidates' private communications for political intrigue in an attempt to derail an election.
Crisis averted.
- Trix