This diary is not a rant because I'm not angry about it really. I'm more irritated than anything else. It's like a nagging fly on a hot summer day that buzzes around your head because you thought it would be a great idea to go heavy on the Victoria Secret body spray and now they think your a piece of fruit.That was a bit long for just an analogy , but it will make sense in a moment.In our society , there's an annoying little trend that has been here for years, but seems to now be turning more into accepted status quo and I find it a little disturbing. It's the accepted blatantly practiced branding of American women who choose not to marry and cannot or do not have children , as either a lesbian or a slut.
Like I said, this isn't new and perhaps it never was a just trend , rather accepted status quo all this time. I don't know. In my young life, I can only recall one high profile married woman who was rumored to have lesbian tendencies because she didn't fit the accepted "stereotype" of what an American woman should be like.(See Hillary R. Clinton). Perhaps, that was the only exception? Because today, it seems to be any woman who is not married or in a relationship be they strong or meek, who's having to disclose or confirm her sexual identity before doing anything with her life.
And if that's going to be the litmus test for any woman seeking public office or any job for that matter in this nation, what does that mean for women like me who are growing in number among the American populace ; strong , professional , career women who are very much heterosexual , but unwed , have no children and are not currently looking? Women who don't believe that we have to have a significant other in our lives to feel fulfilled. And that's not saying that our counterparts do, but just that we don't. Why is it okay for a man to have the same qualities as those mentioned above and his sexuality is never or rarely questioned ?
Now, don't get me wrong. It's not just that people assume women like me are sluts that bothers me. It's that when they find out I'm not, they then assume I'm a lesbian and proceed to treat me accordingly. I have enough discrimination in my life as a Black , a female , a Christian and a Progressive. I would that I not have to face discrimination at all , but if I'm going to be discriminated against, at least let it be for something I really am. But back to the issue of my diary. That is, the issue of single , professional and accomplished women in this nation having their sexual identity questioned no matter who we are.
Condoleeza Rice was rumored to be dating her foreign counterparts and was also famously put down as not understanding the cost of war. Not because she was a Right Wing hack but simply because she can't have children . You know who else can't have children ? ME ! It was said of single and childless Janet Napolitano that she would be perfect for her job because she has no "life" and there were also rumors that she was lesbien. And today, President Obamas recent pick for the supreme Court Elena Kagen has to fend off the same tired rumors. I think it's offensive that we as women have to fight off such rumors like it's weird that we are not in relationships.
But what is more offensive to me is that a persons Sexual Identity in this nation has become so very increasingly obsessive to the point where in order to get a job or move up in life , you have to disclose something about yourself that is utterly irrelevant to your qualifications and those of us who could give a flying fart about even being in a relationship , are being dragged into identifying ourselves as one or the other. And if we don't fit the box that society demands we shove ourselves into, society will package us into the one they most see us occupying and then treat us accordingly. And for single , childless women in this nation, there's only two boxes.
Lesbian or Slut.
I think it's time for a new womens movement in this nation that finally pushes back on this social stereotypical attitude that demands we choose between being a lesbian or a slut because there are many of us who are NEITHER. And we shouldn't be made to feel guilty for not fitting into a category or for saying that we are not in a category for fear that we will look as though we have something against the categories that we are being forced into. For example, I believe that the primary purpose for sexual intercourse is to reproduce offspring. Seeing as I, at first was not ready for and now can not have children, I see no purpose in my life right now, to engage in an activity that I honestly don't like wasting 30 seconds over. That is my right.
But here's the thing. Why should I have to disclose that ? Why should any single woman be pressured in this society to disclose how she feels about that ? It's not your business how I personally feel about sex. I should not be made to answer to anyone about that. I should disclose that when or if I feel like it. I should not be made to disclose that during a job interview or if I decide I want to run for office. My sexual identity should be irrelevant to what I do in life and so should yours unless you openly attack a specific sexual identity and then turn around and engage in it. So is Condoleeza Rices, Janet Napoloitanos and Elena Kagens. Why is this nation so preoccupied with a persons sexual identity?
Perhaps, if we all had the same rights in this nation and were all treated equally, there would be no need for a national debate on every single womans sexual identity? If legal discrimination against the GLBT community in this nation were eradicated , then would we stop asking our elected officials about their sexual identity ? Is that the key ? Would it then end or would we come up with something else ? I don't know. What I do know is that I am not the only single woman in this nation who's getting annoyed with Americas obsession over my sexual identity like it's their business. I can give a rats butt what people do in their bed and I don't judge them for it either. And I should not be made to feel awkward or weird just because I only use my bed for sleeping.