On Thursday, a three-judge panel of the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals collectively ripped a ginormous fart in the name of capitalism, conveniently forgot that the Gulf of Mexico was on the verge of being poisoned for a fucking century due to an oil spill, and decided just to go ahead and throw all caution to the wind by giving Shell Oil the go-ahead to drill off the northern coast of Alaska.
Shell paid $2.1 billion in 2008 for the rights to drill in the Chukchi and Beaufort seas, and they are now apparently chomping at the bit to start seeing a return on their investment.
The project had been delayed by environmental and Native American groups, but the court rejected their claims - including a specific claim that the United States Mineral Management Service had not met its obligations to adequately assess the possibility of damage to the environment.
MMS said the probability of a large spill during exploration was "insignificant." Well, fantastic! I've beaten my head on the desk so many times over the last few days that, amazingly, I'm just going to take the easy way out and believe that you evil pricks would never do anything to endanger the environment.
What's the worst that could happen??
"In light of the recent spill in the Gulf of Mexico, we are working hard to identify additional measures that could be incorporated into the program to make it even stronger," Pete Slaiby, Shell Alaska vice president, said in an e-mail. "That said, this decision is a very large step in the right direction for us."
Wow, Pete! You sure that optimism is justified? I'm sure you do think it's a step in the right direction, since you'll make a shitload of money. And that's all that counts, right? You idiotic chucklehead, an accident would kill every fucking bowhead whale in the arctic.
There is still a possibility that the project could face further delays, as Interior Secretary Ken Salazar ordered a moratorium on new offshore drilling, at least until the end of the month. Feel free to keep your fingers/toes crossed.
NY Times - Court Backs Oil Project
UPDATE: Rec list! Wow, I appreciate that.