Looking beyond their current mishap in the Gulf of Mexico, BP executives have developed a plan to deal with public discontent when global ocean currents bring floating tar balls and dead fish to white, sandy, Copacabana Beach in Rio de Janeiro--as predicted to occur, just before the Olympic Games.
Earlier today, in New Orleans, BP spokesperson, F. U. "Slick" Waters, told reporters that BP executives have generously offered the City of Rio de Janeiro, the Rio Olympic Committee, and the International Olympic Committee all the free-floating crude petroleum that comes their way--without charge. In addition, BP has teamed with the Swiss architectural firm, RAFAA to design a "green" tower to separate oil from seawater. They propose burning the oil in a permanent "Olympic-style" Flame, and aerating the deoxygenated seawater with a curtain waterfall. "Slick" Waters unveiled preliminary designs to reporters gathered at the exclusive Petroleum Club.
(Details below)
Waters said,
The true Olympic Spirit is to maintain determination and fortitude in times of adversity.
These Swiss architects really show that spirit. Instead of wringing their hands and complaining about some spilled crude, they designed this tower that shows us how we can put the stuff to a great use--to fuel the Olympic Flame.
In this proposal, oily seawater is pumped into the gigantic tower, and the oil rises to the top of the column. Electricity to run the pumps is created by solar panels incorporated into the structure. As the oil reaches the top, it is burned off as a magnificent "olympic-style" flame. Then, the newly purified seawater cascades down the side of the tower in an impressive curtain, picking up oxygen as it falls, and regaining the ability to support life.
Waters stayed for ten minutes after his presentation to respond to questions. He acknowledged that BP is unsure exactly how they will stop the outflow of crude in the Gulf, but said, "We're doing our darndest to get 'er under control, but fortunately, the ocean is really big, so we've got some time." Waters suggested that instead of "playing the blame game", that everyone should follow the old saying, 'Don't cry over spilt milk'". He emphasized that, "BP would like everyone to just get on with their lives."
In a personal aside to this reporter, "Slick", as he likes to be called, said he wished that "Americans would stop talkin' to their lawyers and be more cooperative." He suggested that if the legal issues were resolved, "We could have these towers all around the Gulf, lighting up the night and makin' people happy. It could be like havin' a big ol' party while we clean up the oil and take care of the environment."
Comments heard from the reporters, selected to represent major media consortia in the USA, Europe and Brazil, included the following: "Brilliant idea!!", "Finally, some good news from this spill.", "Thanks, BP, for helping--in true Olympic spirit", "Bravo!", and "Thanks, BP and thanks USA, for helping to support the Olympic Flame".
Exclusive to Dailykos, Latest Info: Our confidential inside source at BP revealed that senior management had met earlier with attorneys to see if they could charge for the escaped crude. This source says BP decided to donate the crude only after their attorneys advised it would be considered flotsam under maritime law and free for the taking. The attorneys suggested they (BP) could easily get a tax deduction for the leaking crude if they donated it.
Architectural design copyright RAFAA, Zurich, Switzerland