I have recently experienced a new, and disturbing, phenomena. I want to offer a warning so that you might avoid the same experiences.
My husband, and I, lived in the same very small community for over 20 years. We are not particularly "social" people, restricting our circle to a small group of friend. We don't party. We don't join (much), and we rarely have people "over". We like it that way, being generally bored by most folks. But over 20 plus years, you encounter a lot of people on a daily basis, and they come to know you.
They know what to expect. They learn your opinions, and values, and general level of functioning. They notice when you are not feeling well, and know what they can expect from you when you are in top form. In short they are familiar with you and your life choices.
Then we made the critical decision to down size, moving to a larger town with more amenities. Closer markets, doctors, banks, shops, a library, and a community center, all with in walking distance of our newly renovated cottage.
Before I explain the problem there is a deep dark secret I must share.
In our own minds, we are all 19 forever.
We never quite believe that wrinkled old face in the mirror, and wonder in some confusion at the accumulating aches and pains that seem not to dissipate over night. We feel the same passions, the same angers, and the same joys that we did at 19. All that other stuff is happening "out there" somewhere and never seems to have much to do with us.
We know that some small fraction of older people get Alzheimer's Disease, that some suffer from diabetes, that short term memory loss is a galloping problem, but we chalk it up to distraction, or stress, or something. After all 19 year old's have the same problems, as we remember well.
And when we live in a community that has known us for decades, the people around us know we are neither helpless, nor confused, nor in need of "protection".
But, if you suddenly move to a new place, you are immediately tagged as "old". Bankers ask silly questions in single syllable words. The Social Service takes it upon itself to "check" on you. (They might come while your digging a four foot hole for the new Rhodedendrens, but they are solicitous in the extreme, assuring you that they just worry for your health and safety.) (I suppose I should confess, right here, that I already have a reputation for being difficult...)
The whole situation is very frustrating!
I am neither in declining health, nor suffering from mental deterioration, as yet. And, yet these new people treat me as a check mark on a sheet, with age being the only salient factor.
So, I wanted to tell you, I'm still 19. Oh, yes, I'm slowing down a bit (I only dug that one hole today. The other will have to wait until I recover!) but until I show a loss of vision, limited mobility, a genuine confusion as to where I am and who you are, please don't stereotype me by age.
And don't do that to any of the other older people in your life. We don't all require nursing care, bushels of pills, or people "checking" on us in intrusive and disruptive ways.
Wait until we turn 20.