Last Tuesday night South Carolina Democrats were shocked. Presumptive nominee Vic Rawls was defeated 59%-41%, over 30,000 votes. Who toppled this former state representative, former judge, and military veteran with a six figure campaign fund? Alvin Greene! Just who is this giant-slayer, you ask? ... Some guy. Really. Nobody knows that much about him. Heck, even I'm pulling most of this from his Wikipedia page.
Mr. Greene, pending legal charges, has has won the right to face Republican Jim DeMint in the general election. DeMint is a teabagger darling, but I am here to posit to you that Greene is the TRUE people's candidate!
Point the first: Average Joe
Alvin Greene won despite having no campaign staff, no campaign website, raising virtually no money, and not even having yard signs or buttons. Let me ask you, does the average American have campaign staff, campaign website, yard signs, or buttons? No! In fact, by my estimates over 99% of Americans have one or fewer of these things! You know who does have these things? Jim DeMint.
In addition to being an Average Joe, Alvin Greene is also a G.I. Joe. He has been in the army, air force, and the army national guard. Among Greene's medals is the Korea Defense Service Medal. Where was Jim DeMint when he had a chance to serve in the Korean War? Crying in his crib like a little baby!
Point the second: Outsider cred
Alvin Greene is a first time candidate that has no connections to any party establishment. According to Wikipedia, the most reliable source in the world, Greene never met with party leaders, never attended the state convention, never attended any local events, and even attempted to pay the filing fee with a personal check! Talk about an insurgence candidate!
DeMint, on the other hand, has been serving in Congress for over a decade, is a loyal member of the Republican party, and has raised millions of dollars for his campaigns. Even a teabagger can see who the outsider is here.
Point the third: What's in a name?
What is more American than Greene? Greene is the color of moneye! DeMint, though... Sounds awfully French to me. He probably changed it from DeMenthe.
The choice is clear here. For an independent outsider man of the people, vote Greene!
(DISCLAIMER: I don't know Alvin Greene. I don't work for his campaign (because he doesn't have one). I don't even live in South Carolina. I just find the whole situation rather funny. No offense, SC, but you really are the gift that keeps on giving.)
(Also, yes, I know that Greene did not get the Korea Defense Service Medal from serving during the Korean War. He wasn't even born then. You know who doesn't have that excuse? Jim Demint.)