I used to hate admitting this happened to my family: My precious cousin, Laura, was murdered, her life taken before she ever really had the chance to live it -- at only 19 years old. To be truthful, she was just starting to put her life back together. Her home burned down a few years earlier, destroying nearly everything. She dropped out of high school, but was getting her GED. The last time I saw her, about two or three weeks before her death, my mother and I visited my aunt and cousin so my mother could give Laura a letter of recommendation for a job she applied to -- but Laura never got the chance to get that job.
Whenever I think of her, my thoughts invariably lead to that last visit -- it had been too long since I last saw her. She had given me a great, big hug, commenting on how much I had grown and how great it was to see me. I try never to think of that moment. It just rips me open every time.
I was in the 7th grade when it happened, 12 or 13 years old. It's been over ten years since and this has been one of the two or three things that's happened in my life that's shaped me as a person; it taught me of the value of life and that everyone is precious, unique and sacred.
Laura was murdered trying to protect her friend from a violent ex-boyfriend. Her friend's ex wouldn't accept the relationship being over. My cousin Laura, from what I was told, wouldn't let the ex see her friend -- and she was shot for it. This destroyed the little boy inside me -- I was never the same again and any semblance of innocence was gone forever. I grew up the moment I heard those words, when my stepmother woke me up early the morning after and told me, "Ryan... I have something terrible to say... your cousin Laura was shot to death last night." I curled up in a ball and cried in my stepmother's lap for over an hour -- I'll admit, I have tears in my eyes thinking about that day right as I write this. Actually, it's more than just tears.
I sometimes struggle to remember what she looked like. Laura (like so many of us) didn't like to take pictures in her final years. Because of the fire, there are very few of any pictures that survive today, even from when she was young. Sometimes, when I think of her, it's like I'm seeing her from a distance -- I can see the color of her hair, her skin, her figure, I remember she was taller than me then -- but it's hard to remember the details. I do remember her smile, though. She had a very warm and large smile. I remember her laugh, too. I could never forget that.
When you're grief-stricken and have something that horrible happen to you, you don't want to admit it -- you don't even want to admit it to yourself. You want to pretend it never happened. But it did, and it destroys you inside for a very, very long time.
In the years since it happened, I've learned to refuse to keep this part of me secret anymore. Now, when I hear people say, "we should just stop trying to regulate weapons, it just hands Republicans a big issue" I stand up and say no. That's what I'm doing now.
I'm not writing in response to Angry Mouse's call to just leave the whole gun issue alone. She wrote a fine diary and makes some good points, even if I disagree with them, but I will admit she inspired me to offer a different perspective. I'm writing this diary in the hopes of changing some minds and telling people why it's absolutely imperative to regulate concealed weapons, even if we have to fight the NRA tooth and nail to do it.
I'm writing to the people of Daily Kos who think owning a concealed hand gun should be a sacred right, or is protected by the constitution. How many of you have had your cousin murdered by someone with a concealed weapon? I often wonder if my cousin Laura knew what was happening, or if there could have been a way to change it. I wonder what would have happened had hand guns not been so readily available in this country. Chances are, my cousin would be alive today, and my family, as well as all her friends and acquaintances, would have been much better off for it.
When our country has more than 15,000 hand gun related deaths each year, and a country like France has less than 500, there's something wrong here. The NRA and crazy Republicans -- as well as some Democrats -- would like people to think the answer to that problem is just more guns, but nothing could be further from the truth.
So, what's the answer? First of all, we need to be smart. It would be morally bankrupt to cede this issue to the NRA and Republican Party, especially when the American public is not opposed to reasonable restrictions when it comes to things that can easily kill people, including guns. The first order of being smart is to refuse to give into the NRA and be scared away by this issue; we need to ensure that people realize we aren't talking about their hunting and sporting weapons, we're talking about concealed weapons. We're talking about the kind of weapon that can fit in a pocket and kill people at a moment's notice. If we just get scared away by this issue, we're not going anywhere, and more people will die. I refuse to let my cousin Laura be a statistic -- and shame on anyone who would be willing to accept those 15,000 tragedies every year as a bloody sacrifice to the gods the NRA.
Secondly, we need to recognize that there is no enshrined right to concealed weapons. Even in this court, which has drastically changed the meaning of the 2nd amendment and been as "activist" as possible, it has to be recognized that states can regulate gun ownership, as one Kossack eloquently made the point. Even legal experts have said states will just have to be more specific and precise in the way it goes about regulation.
The point is, though, we can't timidly run away like a bunch of cowards scared of the bullies who brandish the guns. We must challenge the court and create laws that test this judgement, in the more-precise ways many legal experts think can work. If they don't work, then, it's time for some changes -- it's time to take the stick approach, which could range from threatening to pack the court to pushing a constitutional amendment or convention.
For those afraid of standing up on this issue... remember my cousin Laura. Remember that she died because we allow concealed weapons to proliferate throughout society with very little regulation at all, once all the loopholes are factored in. Remember that we could do much, much better -- and save many more lives. Even if we have to challenge the Roberts court to the only level higher than it -- appealing to the people of this country to change the constitution -- we can come up with a solution.
For people who, even still, are content to leave this court be because they don't want to face it, or the NRA, on the gun issue, it's not just about the guns. With a case like Citizens United, every industry will have its chance to pour millions or hundreds of millions into the political system to push for laws that will result in less regulation, more people dying and more environmental catastrophes like what's happening on the Gulf Coast.
This gun issue is just one where the Roberts court has ignored decades of legal precedent and any respect for the common decency of the people of this country. A day of reckoning must come for this court, be it adding extra seats to change the majority or changing the constitution itself -- for We, The People, must remember that even the Supreme Court of the United States has to live within its own checks and balances. We don't have to live in a country where some neighborhoods live in fear of stray bullets -- and we can live in a country where many fewer families have stories to share like my own.
[Update: Rec list! Thanks! If my cousin Laura's story helps nudge even one person to the side of reasonable and sane regulations of hand guns, I will be very, very thankful to you all. The fewer people who have to go through the tragedy that happened to Laura and our family, the better this world will be.]