(Nacogdoches) While President Obama vacations with his family in Martha’s Vineyard, an elaborate plot has been uncovered by alert gun & religion-clinging Texans that would turn America into a nation of scary, dark-skinned aliens.
Setting aside details regarding chronology and facts, what follows is a brief summary of startling revelations revealed by Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-TX) after an exhaustive half day of research on the Internets.
- Barack Obama's Terror Baby Momma, Ann Dunham is recruited in Hawai’i to be inseminated by the Muslim seed of his Terror Baby Daddy, Barack Obama, Sr. Dunham is then indoctrinated into the inner workings of the conspiracy, code named, Mocha Lotta Grande.
- Ann Dunham is tricked into attending a luau where she is eats poi laced with roofies. Dunham is secretly flown to Kenya to give birth to Barack Hussein Obama. An elaborate Afro-Stalinist-Muslim ceremony is held attended by lots of Zulu-looking chiefs with bones in their noses. Terror Baby Barack gets secret jihadist tats that become visible only under a black light in mosques.
Back in Hawai’i, YoMaMa Bin Laden, mother of Osama, the Optimus Prime Terror Baby, bribes Kapi’olani Maternity & Gynecological Hospital in Honolulu with fake records of Barack Obama's birth. YoMaMa then sends faked announcements of Obama's birth to local Honolulu newspapers.
1967-71: YoMaMa flies Obama out of Kenya to a madrassa in Jakarta to obtain more in-depth Jihadist terrorist training for the future overthrow of America. Before departing Indonesia, the precocious Terror Child completes a prized 4th grade thesis, "Places to Build A Mosque Just To Be Buggin’."
1985-88: Obama moves to Chicago to complete more subversive anti-government training with former Terror Infant and Weather Underground co-founder, Bill Ayers. They collaborate to create the first terrorist fist bump.
- Obama's take over of America is crowned by threatening rival presidential candidate, John McCain, into revealing that McCain was born in the Panama Canal Zone. McCain, intimidated that he too might be relentlessly pursued by crazed birthers, doomed his presidential bid when Obama further strong-armed McCain into selecting Sarah Palin as his running mate.
Michelle and Barack Hussein Obama do a terrorist fist jab in public, announcing to Terror Baby Sleeper Cells across the country the start of Mocha Lotta Grande, also known as The Dusky End Times.
2010-? Plans for the upcoming jihad are being readied in which Obama will unleash a secret weapon to fight off Americans growing suspicions.
What secret weapon Obama will use to counter the facts is unclear. But sources say the Rev. Jeremiah Wright has been seen yelling at no one in particular while wading in a lagoon just off Martha’s Vineyard.