Bear with me here, people. I'm riddled with caffeine this morning and I am in a Jack Kerouac "stream of consciousness" frame of mind. If this is total gibberish, kindly move onto the next diary.
They are here, riding free to terrorize and subdue the countryside of the Shire (American electorate). The Four Horses (Ass) of the Apocolypse, as foretold by Bilbo Baggins Olberman.
Think back to the scene in the LORD OF THE RINGS where the hobbits are hidden away in the inn, quaking with fear that they will be discovered and slain. Those nasty black-spirit horseriders are screeching their way up and down the cobblestone street in search of Frodo (Nancy Pelosi) and her friends (Feingold, Reid, Sestak, Mcadams, Boxer). Now, put faces on those horses, I mean, riders. Michelle Bachman, Sarah Palin, O'Donnell from Delaware, Sharon Engel.
Can you see it now?
We assume a state of high anxiety as we ponder whether or not Gandolf the Wizard (Barack Obama) will be able to help the hobbits (members of the Democratic Party) through the lands of the Orks, populated by Mitch McConnell, John Boehner, Newt Gingrich, Mike Pence, and many other soul-less creatures who stand in the way of Frodo's fulfilling his sacred mission. The Evil Eye Jim DeMint sits atop a mountain scannning Ork-land for any detractors from his edicts.
The mission seems impossible, the stakes unbelievably high, the consequences of failure catastrophic.
Can Frodo rid the lands of the Evil Eye and his co-hort Orks? Or will the Orks succeed in their scorched earth, leave no one left alive march towards the destruction of the Shire as we have known and loved it?
The only way Frodo can succeed is by tossing Michelle Malkin, Sean Hannity, Rush Limbaugh, Bill O'Reilly, and Anne Coulter into the fiery mountain of death.
We'll know within six weeks. The Shire holds its collective breath.